Breathing for the inner critic: 7 minutes, in the queue

About this practice

For the times in the queue when the inner critic takes up more room than you would like — 7 minutes, breathing. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this in a waiting room

• You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
• Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
• Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00You don't have to empty your mind. Nobody has ever managed that, including the people who wrote the instructions.
2. 0:16Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
3. 0:32Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:46We're going to move through the body in order, roughly from top to bottom.
5. 1:00Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
6. 1:13Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
7. 1:26Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
8. 1:38Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
9. 1:50Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
10. 2:02There is no correct amount of the running commentary on your flaws to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
11. 2:21Nothing about the voice that grades everything has to be explained or justified in this room.
12. 2:36Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
13. 2:49No need to open your eyes yet.
14. 2:59Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
15. 3:11Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
16. 3:23A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
17. 3:34If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
18. 3:50Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
19. 4:04Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
20. 4:17Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
21. 4:27Notice the space around the judge in your head. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
22. 4:45You do not have to solve the running commentary on your flaws in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
23. 5:05Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
24. 5:19If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
25. 5:32Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
26. 5:43Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
27. 5:55There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
28. 6:10Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.
29. 6:22Let your jaw, shoulders and hands be loose as you finish.
30. 6:34Let the quiet do its work.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.