Gratitude meditation for the inner critic (20 min), early on

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for the inner critic. A gratitude session you can do early on. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this in the morning

• Do it before checking your phone — the first minutes set the tone for the rest
• Sitting up is better than lying down, or you will drift back to sleep
• Light on your face helps more than any practice

Mornings can become a performance of productive habits. This one does not need to be done well.

How gratitude works

Gratitude here is an attention practice, not a demand for a positive mood. Attention defaults to threats because they are urgent, so pleasant and ordinary things get skipped simply for being safe.

• Pick one ordinary thing rather than something impressive
• Stay with it for two breaths — depth beats length of list
• Do not aim at feeling grateful; aim at noticing

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice whether you're leaning forward. Most people are, slightly, all day.
2. 0:12Let this be easy, if easy is available.
3. 0:23Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
4. 0:36We'll be quiet for a bit longer than usual. Stay with whatever shows up.
5. 0:50Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
6. 1:04Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
7. 1:17Notice your breathing, without changing it.
8. 1:27Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
9. 1:38Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:50Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
11. 2:02Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
12. 2:15You are allowed to be unimpressed by the judge in your head. Indifference is a legitimate response.
13. 2:30If the running commentary on your flaws has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
14. 2:48Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
15. 3:02Let the exhale carry a little of the voice that grades everything with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
16. 3:21Feel the weight of the judge in your head somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
17. 3:38Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
18. 3:50If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
19. 4:01We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
20. 4:11A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
21. 4:22Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
22. 4:34You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
23. 4:47Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
24. 4:58If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
25. 5:12Nothing here needs to be efficient.
26. 5:22A short silence. Let it be empty.
27. 5:32If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
28. 5:47If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
29. 6:00I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
30. 6:12Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
31. 6:24Small efforts are the whole method.
32. 6:34No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
33. 6:45If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
34. 6:58We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
35. 7:12I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
36. 7:25Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
37. 7:39Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
38. 7:49Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
39. 8:02Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
40. 8:12I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
41. 8:24If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
42. 8:37No need to open your eyes yet.
43. 8:47Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
44. 8:58Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
45. 9:11Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
46. 9:22Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
47. 9:36Let the pause stretch out.
48. 9:45Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
49. 9:58Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
50. 10:09Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
51. 10:22Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
52. 10:37Just the breath, still.
53. 10:46If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
54. 10:59Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
55. 11:11Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
56. 11:24Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
57. 11:37Let this one be unhurried.
58. 11:46Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
59. 11:58Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
60. 12:10Remain here for a few more breaths.
61. 12:20Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
62. 12:33Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
63. 12:49Keep following the air.
64. 12:58Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
65. 13:10Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
66. 13:22Let it be this simple.
67. 13:31Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
68. 13:42Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
69. 13:55A few seconds more.
70. 14:04Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
71. 14:16Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
72. 14:30Nothing changes for a moment.
73. 14:39Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
74. 14:52This is not the last time the running commentary on your flaws will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
75. 15:11A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
76. 15:22Notice where the voice that grades everything lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
77. 15:40Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
78. 15:51Each time your mind hands you the judge in your head, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
79. 16:10Imagine the running commentary on your flaws as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
80. 16:29Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
81. 16:42You have been carrying the voice that grades everything for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
82. 17:02Imagine softening the edges of the judge in your head. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
83. 17:20Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
84. 17:34If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
85. 17:46If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
86. 17:59Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
87. 18:10A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
88. 18:21There's no need to try harder than this.
89. 18:32Stay with it.
90. 18:40Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
91. 18:55Let the next breath be the start of the rest of the day.
92. 19:08Let your body keep settling.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.