Letting go for the inner critic: 7 minutes, between meetings

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 7 minutes of letting go for the inner critic, between meetings. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this between meetings

• Start it in the gap, not after the next one begins
• Write down the open thread from the last meeting first, then let it go
• Two minutes done beats five minutes planned

The back-to-back day is exactly why the gap has to be protected rather than used for one more task.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the heaviest part of your body right now. Let it be heavy.
2. 0:13If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
3. 0:26We're going to move through the body in order, roughly from top to bottom.
4. 0:40If some part of you is resisting this, that resistance is worth noticing too.
5. 0:54Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
6. 1:07Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
7. 1:20Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
8. 1:32Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
9. 1:44Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
10. 1:57You do not have to win against the judge in your head. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
11. 2:15You do not have to like the running commentary on your flaws to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
12. 2:32Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
13. 2:44Let the quiet do its work.
14. 2:54Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
15. 3:08Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
16. 3:21We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
17. 3:35If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
18. 3:49Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
19. 3:59There's no need to try harder than this.
20. 4:10Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
21. 4:21Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
22. 4:33Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
23. 4:44the voice that grades everything may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
24. 5:02If the judge in your head has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
25. 5:20Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
26. 5:32Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
27. 5:43If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
28. 5:56A short silence. Let it be empty.
29. 6:06We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
30. 6:16Let the last minute of quiet be the last minute of quiet.
31. 6:29Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.