Meditation for anxiety: 10-minute softening session, before sleep

About this practice

When anxiety shows up before sleep, this 10-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: anxiety

Anxiety is your nervous system treating a thought as a threat. Adrenaline and cortisol rise, the heart speeds up, and the body prepares to act on a danger that is mostly in the future.

It tends to show up as:

• A tight chest or a knot in the stomach
• Feeling keyed up but unable to say why
• Checking things more than once

Slow exhaling directly signals safety to the vagus nerve, which is why breathing is the fastest route down from a spike.

Doing this before sleep

• Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
• Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
• Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Check your hands. Are they doing anything? Let them stop.
2. 0:12We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:22If your mind is loud, that's information, not failure.
4. 0:33You can think about other things. When you notice, come back. That's the whole practice.
5. 0:47Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
6. 1:03Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7. 1:15Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
8. 1:28Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
9. 1:40Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
10. 1:52Feel the tops of your thighs.
11. 2:02You do not have to solve that tight feeling that something is wrong in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
12. 2:22If the hum of anxiety has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
13. 2:39Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
14. 2:53There's no need to try harder than this.
15. 3:04I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
16. 3:16You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
17. 3:28You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
18. 3:41Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
19. 3:53If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
20. 4:06Nothing here needs to be efficient.
21. 4:16A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
22. 4:27Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
23. 4:41Feel your calves, front and back.
24. 4:51Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
25. 5:04Stay here a little longer.
26. 5:13Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
27. 5:25Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
28. 5:39Let the pause stretch out.
29. 5:48Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
30. 6:01Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
31. 6:14A few seconds more.
32. 6:23Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
33. 6:34Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
34. 6:45A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
35. 6:56If the alarm in your body is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
36. 7:13If the restless edge of worry shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
37. 7:33Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
38. 7:47Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
39. 8:04If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
40. 8:18If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
41. 8:33Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
42. 8:43Small efforts are the whole method.
43. 8:53No rush to move on.
44. 9:02Let the last minute of quiet be the last minute of quiet.
45. 9:15Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.
46. 9:28Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.