The inner critic: 20-minute breathing meditation, in the late afternoon

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for the inner critic. A breathing session you can do in the late afternoon. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If your legs are crossed, uncross them. Small changes count.
2. 0:12If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
3. 0:28We're going to move through the body in order, roughly from top to bottom.
4. 0:42Let your attention settle on the space between your nose and your upper lip, where the air passes.
5. 0:58Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:12Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
7. 1:25Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
8. 1:37Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
9. 1:51Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
10. 2:04Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
11. 2:16Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
12. 2:28If the voice that grades everything has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
13. 2:46Whatever the judge in your head is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
14. 3:01Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
15. 3:15Think of the running commentary on your flaws as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
16. 3:33When the voice that grades everything arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
17. 3:52Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
18. 4:03Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
19. 4:16There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
20. 4:31Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
21. 4:43If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
22. 4:58Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
23. 5:12A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
24. 5:23If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
25. 5:36Let the counting do the work. When you lose the count, start again from one — no penalty.
26. 5:52Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
27. 6:03Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
28. 6:15Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
29. 6:29No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
30. 6:40If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
31. 6:53Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
32. 7:03Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
33. 7:17Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
34. 7:30I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
35. 7:43If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
36. 7:56No rush to move on.
37. 8:05Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
38. 8:16Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
39. 8:29Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
40. 8:39If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
41. 8:53Stay with it.
42. 9:01Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
43. 9:15Feel your calves, front and back.
44. 9:25Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
45. 9:36Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
46. 9:50Let your body keep settling.
47. 9:59If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
48. 10:12Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
49. 10:24Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
50. 10:35Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
51. 10:49A few seconds more.
52. 10:58Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
53. 11:11Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
54. 11:22Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
55. 11:34Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
56. 11:48Let the pause stretch out.
57. 11:57Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
58. 12:11A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
59. 12:22Feel the tops of your thighs.
60. 12:32Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
61. 12:44Stay here a little longer.
62. 12:53Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
63. 13:05Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
64. 13:20Let it be this simple.
65. 13:29Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
66. 13:41Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
67. 13:54No need to open your eyes yet.
68. 14:04Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
69. 14:16Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
70. 14:28Take the next breath slowly.
71. 14:37Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
72. 14:49Let the judge in your head be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
73. 15:09I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
74. 15:21If the running commentary on your flaws starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
75. 15:38Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
76. 15:49If the voice that grades everything is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
77. 16:06You are allowed to be unimpressed by the judge in your head. Indifference is a legitimate response.
78. 16:21Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
79. 16:36Imagine softening the edges of the running commentary on your flaws. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
80. 16:54Give the voice that grades everything a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
81. 17:12Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
82. 17:26If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
83. 17:39Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
84. 17:53If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
85. 18:07I'll step back. You stay here.
86. 18:17Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
87. 18:33Remain here for a few more breaths.
88. 18:43When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
89. 18:56Give your hands a stretch before you go back to using them.
90. 19:09Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.