Meditation for the inner critic: 10-minute letting go session, in a waiting room

About this practice

A 10-minute letting go session for the inner critic, in a waiting room. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

A judge commenting on everything
Anticipating criticism before it comes
Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this in a waiting room

You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are
Nothing here needs to look like a meditation
Aim for steadiness rather than calm

Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00You don't have to empty your mind. Nobody has ever managed that, including the people who wrote the instructions.
0:16Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
0:31Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
0:44You can think about other things. When you notice, come back. That's the whole practice.
0:58Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
1:10Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
1:24Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
1:37Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
1:51Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
2:04Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
2:16Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the voice that grades everything is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
2:35Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
2:52If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
3:05Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
3:21I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
3:33Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
3:46You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
4:01Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
4:12If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
4:25Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
4:41Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
4:52A few seconds more.
5:01Feel your calves, front and back.
5:11Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
5:23Let your body keep settling.
5:32Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
5:46Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
5:59No need to open your eyes yet.
6:09Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
6:21Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
6:34A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
6:45Let the running commentary on your flaws be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
7:05Let the exhale carry a little of the voice that grades everything with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
7:24Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7:36When the judge in your head presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
7:55Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
8:06If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
8:19Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
8:31We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
8:46Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
8:56Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.
9:10Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
9:25Just the breath, still.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed. You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Where and when should I do this one?

You can do this with your eyes open and your hands where they are. Waiting feeds the dread it is meant to relieve. Having something specific to do with the time is the useful part.

What actually happens during the 10 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.