Meditation for the inner critic: 10-minute breathing session, when it all piles up

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 10 minutes of breathing for the inner critic, when it all piles up. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this when you are overwhelmed

• Do not decide priorities during it
• Pick the shortest session available here
• When you finish, write down the first physical action on paper

The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let the first out-breath be longer than the in-breath. Nothing dramatic, just longer.
2. 0:13Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
3. 0:27There's no correct speed. Slower isn't better. Steadier is the only aim.
4. 0:40Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
5. 0:53Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6. 1:06Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:20Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
8. 1:31Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
9. 1:45Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
10. 1:56Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
11. 2:08Feel the weight of the judge in your head somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
12. 2:25There is no correct amount of the running commentary on your flaws to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
13. 2:44If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
14. 2:58If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
15. 3:14I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:27Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
17. 3:41Let the counting do the work. When you lose the count, start again from one — no penalty.
18. 3:57Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
19. 4:08If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
20. 4:22Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
21. 4:38Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
22. 4:49Let it be this simple.
23. 4:58Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
24. 5:11Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
25. 5:27Nothing changes for a moment.
26. 5:36Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
27. 5:48Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
28. 6:01A few seconds more.
29. 6:10Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
30. 6:24Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
31. 6:40Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
32. 6:52Think of the voice that grades everything as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
33. 7:10If the judge in your head starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
34. 7:27Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
35. 7:41If the running commentary on your flaws has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
36. 7:59Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
37. 8:11If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
38. 8:25Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
39. 8:37Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
40. 8:51Remain here for a few more breaths.
41. 9:01Stand up when you're ready. The list hasn't grown while you were here.
42. 9:14Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
43. 9:28Stay with it.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.