Meditation for falling asleep: 3-minute softening session, in the hour before sleep

About this practice

For the times in the hour before sleep when falling asleep takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, softening. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

• Watching the clock
• Getting frustrated at being awake
• Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this before bed

• Do it in bed or somewhere you can move straight to bed after
• Lower the light, and do not check anything afterwards
• If you fall asleep before the end, it worked

Falling asleep mid-session is a success, not a failure to complete it.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
2. 0:13If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
3. 0:28Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
4. 0:43Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
5. 0:56Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
6. 1:11Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
7. 1:22Give the thoughts that keep the light on a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
8. 1:41Nothing about the surrender at the end of the day has to be explained or justified in this room.
9. 1:57Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
10. 2:11Imagine the slow drift toward sleep as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
11. 2:29Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
12. 2:42Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
13. 2:55Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.