5-minute guided self-compassion practice for falling asleep — before sleep

About this practice

When falling asleep shows up before sleep, this 5-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

• Watching the clock
• Getting frustrated at being awake
• Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this before sleep

• Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
• Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
• Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Drop your attention from your head into your chest for a second.
2. 0:13Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:23Notice your own pulse somewhere. Wrist, throat, wherever you can find it.
4. 0:36Notice the pause at the end of each breath. It's short, but it's there.
5. 0:50Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
6. 1:03Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
7. 1:16Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
8. 1:27Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
9. 1:40Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
10. 1:51Stay here a little longer.
11. 2:00Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
12. 2:10You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
13. 2:23If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
14. 2:36If the surrender at the end of the day has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
15. 2:55Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
16. 3:12Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
17. 3:25You have been carrying the thoughts that keep the light on for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
18. 3:46If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
19. 4:00Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
20. 4:11There's no need to try harder than this.
21. 4:22Come back to your body first, and the rest of the day second.
22. 4:35Take the next breath slowly.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.