The inner critic: 10-minute breathing meditation, in the middle of the night

About this practice

10 minutes to meet the inner critic with less of a fight. A breathing practice, in the middle of the night. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this at 3am

• Do not check the time and do not turn on a light
• Stay lying down if you can — sitting up makes it harder to return to sleep
• Do not try to solve anything that arrives at this hour

Problems at 3am feel enormous because of chemistry, not because they are actually bigger. Defer them.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your next exhale be a sigh, if a sigh is what's waiting there.
2. 0:14There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
3. 0:29Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
4. 0:42Let your attention rest on the out-breath. The in-breath can take care of itself.
5. 0:56Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
6. 1:09Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
7. 1:21Feel the tops of your thighs.
8. 1:31Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
9. 1:45Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
10. 1:57Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
11. 2:09If the voice that grades everything shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
12. 2:29If you catch yourself fighting the judge in your head, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
13. 2:47If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
14. 3:02If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
15. 3:18I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
16. 3:30If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
17. 3:43Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
18. 3:57Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
19. 4:09If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
20. 4:20Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
21. 4:34A short silence. Let it be empty.
22. 4:44Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
23. 4:57Let the pause stretch out.
24. 5:06Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
25. 5:18Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
26. 5:30No rush to move on.
27. 5:39Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
28. 5:51Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
29. 6:06Stay with it.
30. 6:14Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
31. 6:25Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
32. 6:38A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
33. 6:49Give the running commentary on your flaws a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
34. 7:07If the voice that grades everything has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
35. 7:25Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
36. 7:41When the judge in your head presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
37. 8:00Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
38. 8:14Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
39. 8:26I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
40. 8:39Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
41. 8:55Stay here a little longer.
42. 9:04Come back to the room through your senses, one at a time.
43. 9:17Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
44. 9:29Let your body keep settling.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.