7-minute self-compassion meditation for the inner critic, on a train journey

About this practice

A 7-minute self-compassion session for the inner critic, on a train journey. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this on a train

• Pick a window seat if you can and let the view do part of the work
• Set an alarm for your stop
• Keep the bag on your lap rather than unfastening to find it later

The motion can make reading or screens uncomfortable, which is another reason audio works better here.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
2. 0:13We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:23Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
4. 0:36Let your attention settle on the space between your nose and your upper lip, where the air passes.
5. 0:52Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
6. 1:04Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7. 1:16Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
8. 1:28Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
9. 1:39Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
10. 1:52When the judge in your head arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
11. 2:11If you catch yourself fighting the running commentary on your flaws, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
12. 2:29Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
13. 2:41Let the pause stretch out.
14. 2:50Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
15. 3:03Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
16. 3:16If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
17. 3:29A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
18. 3:40We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
19. 3:54If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
20. 4:07Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
21. 4:20Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
22. 4:31You have been carrying the voice that grades everything for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
23. 4:51Think of the judge in your head as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
24. 5:09Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
25. 5:23If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
26. 5:37If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
27. 5:49Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
28. 6:01Nothing here needs to be efficient.
29. 6:11Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
30. 6:26Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.