5-minute guided self-compassion practice for self-criticism — when nothing went right

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for self-criticism. A self-compassion session you can do when nothing went right. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: self-criticism

Self-criticism is a habit of speech, not an accurate report. The same inner voice repeats whether or not the evidence supports it.

It tends to show up as:

• A running commentary on your mistakes
• Harsh words you would never say aloud to someone else
• Reviewing old failures in detail

The practice is not to argue with the voice, but to speak to yourself in a tone that does not require an argument.

Doing this after a bad day

• Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for
• Something physical first, then this
• Keep it short and end it deliberately

A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your next exhale be a sigh, if a sigh is what's waiting there.
2. 0:14If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
3. 0:27Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
4. 0:40Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
5. 0:54Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
6. 1:08Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
7. 1:24Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
8. 1:37Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
9. 1:48Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
10. 1:59Stay with it.
11. 2:07I'll step back. You stay here.
12. 2:17We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
13. 2:31If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
14. 2:44This is not the last time the record of your mistakes will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
15. 3:03Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the harsh voice inside is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
16. 3:22Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
17. 3:35Nothing about the criticism you would never aim at a friend has to be explained or justified in this room.
18. 3:52Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
19. 4:05Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
20. 4:16Nothing here needs to be efficient.
21. 4:26If you're going straight back to work, take ten seconds at the doorway first.
22. 4:40Stay here a little longer.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.