Sleep: 5-minute self-compassion meditation, late at night

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 5 minutes of self-compassion for sleep, late at night. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sleep

Sleep arrives on a downslope, not on command. Arousal has to fall for some minutes before the switch flips, and trying harder keeps it up.

It tends to show up as:

• Getting a second wind at bedtime
• Mind starting up as soon as the light goes off
• Sleep arriving much later than you intended

The practice is to stop steering. Following a slow voice occupies the part of the mind that would otherwise be trying.

Doing this at night

• Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
• Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
• Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Start with the noise that is already in the room. We are not going to try to remove it yet.
2. 0:17We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
3. 0:27We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
4. 0:39Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
5. 0:52Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
6. 1:05Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
7. 1:16Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
8. 1:28Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
9. 1:42Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
10. 1:52Just the breath, still.
11. 2:01Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
12. 2:15Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
13. 2:26Small efforts are the whole method.
14. 2:36Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
15. 2:47When the quiet your mind keeps postponing presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
16. 3:07Whatever the heaviness your body already knows is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
17. 3:23Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
18. 3:36This is not the last time the day folding itself up will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
19. 3:55If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
20. 4:09I'll step back. You stay here.
21. 4:19You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
22. 4:32Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.