12-minute self-compassion meditation for public speaking fear, when it all piles up

About this practice

When public speaking fear shows up when it all piles up, this 12-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: public speaking fear

Speaking to a group triggers the same response as physical threat: shallow breathing, a dry mouth, and a voice that rises and speeds up.

It tends to show up as:

Voice wobbling on the first sentence
Speaking too fast to get it over with
Shallow breathing high in the chest

Lengthening the exhale slows speech and steadies the voice. Physically, this is a breath practice before it is a confidence practice.

Doing this when you are overwhelmed

Do not decide priorities during it
Pick the shortest session available here
When you finish, write down the first physical action on paper

The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
Ask what you need, not what you deserve
A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Keep your eyes open if you like, resting on one point of the floor a metre or two ahead.
0:16The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
0:31Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
0:44Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
0:56Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
1:09Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
1:20Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
1:34Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
1:48Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
2:00Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
2:12Give the urge to rush off the stage a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
2:31You are allowed to be unimpressed by the wobble in your voice. Indifference is a legitimate response.
2:46Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
2:59Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
3:11You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
3:24Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
3:36Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
3:49Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
4:04A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
4:15Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
4:29Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
4:45Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
4:56If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
5:09Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
5:23I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
5:36If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
5:49Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6:02Let your body keep settling.
6:11Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
6:24Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
6:37Nothing changes for a moment.
6:46Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
6:56Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
7:09Let the pause stretch out.
7:18Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
7:29Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
7:43No rush to move on.
7:52Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
8:04Let the exhale carry a little of the room full of faces with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
8:23I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
8:35If the urge to rush off the stage is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
8:53Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
9:07Each time your mind hands you the wobble in your voice, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
9:26You do not have to win against the room full of faces. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
9:44Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
9:57If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
10:10Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
10:21Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
10:32Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
10:48Keep following the air.
10:57Before you move, notice one thing that's fine right now.
11:09Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.
11:23Let the quiet do its work.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Speaking to a group triggers the same response as physical threat: shallow breathing, a dry mouth, and a voice that rises and speeds up. Lengthening the exhale slows speech and steadies the voice. Physically, this is a breath practice before it is a confidence practice.

Where and when should I do this one?

Do not decide priorities during it. The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

What actually happens during the 12 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.