Meditation for worry: 5-minute self-compassion session, before bedtime

About this practice

When worry shows up before bedtime, this 5-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: worry

Worry is rehearsal for a future that has not arrived. The body responds to the imagined event as if it were happening, so you pay the cost twice.

It tends to show up as:

• What-ifs lined up in a queue
• A knot low in the stomach
• Rehearsing bad outcomes before bed

You do not have to resolve the worry. Noticing it as a mental event, rather than an accurate forecast, loosens its grip.

Doing this before sleep

• Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
• Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
• Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Keep your eyes open if you like, resting on one point of the floor a metre or two ahead.
2. 0:16Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
3. 0:32Settle into the fact that for the next few minutes, nothing is required of you.
4. 0:46If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
5. 1:01Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
6. 1:12Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
7. 1:25Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
8. 1:37Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
9. 1:50Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
10. 2:02Take the next breath slowly.
11. 2:11You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
12. 2:24If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
13. 2:38the what-ifs lined up like worries may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
14. 2:56Each time your mind hands you the knot of worry low in the stomach, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
15. 3:17Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
16. 3:31Whatever the mind rehearsing bad endings is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
17. 3:46Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
18. 3:58Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
19. 4:09Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
20. 4:25Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
21. 4:36Keep following the air.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.