10-minute self-compassion meditation for falling asleep, late at night

About this practice

When falling asleep shows up late at night, this 10-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

Watching the clock
Getting frustrated at being awake
Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this at night

Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
Ask what you need, not what you deserve
A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Keep your eyes open if you like, resting on one point of the floor a metre or two ahead.
0:16Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
0:32Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
0:45Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
0:58Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
1:14Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
1:28Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
1:42Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
1:55Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
2:06Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
2:16You do not have to like the thoughts that keep the light on to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
2:34If the surrender at the end of the day is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
2:53Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
3:06You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
3:19A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
3:30If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
3:44Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
4:00Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
4:11If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
4:26Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
4:40Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
4:52Let it be this simple.
5:01Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
5:12Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
5:25No need to open your eyes yet.
5:35Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
5:47Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6:01Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
6:11Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
6:23Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
6:37I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
6:50You do not have to win against the slow drift toward sleep. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
7:08Let the thoughts that keep the light on be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
7:29Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
7:43Think of the surrender at the end of the day as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
8:02If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
8:16Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
8:30Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
8:42Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
8:57Stay with it.
9:05Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
9:16Stretch whatever feels stiff, then carry on.
9:26Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal. Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Where and when should I do this one?

Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night. Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

What actually happens during the 10 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.