Softening meditation for tension headaches (20 min), at night

About this practice

A 20-minute softening session for tension headaches, at night. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this at night

• Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
• Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
• Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let the floor take your weight through your feet, and stop holding yourself up for a second.
2. 0:15You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:28Now let your attention move from the room into your body, slowly, the way you'd move through a doorway you know well.
4. 0:46Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
5. 0:59Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
6. 1:13Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
7. 1:26Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
8. 1:39Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
9. 1:52Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
10. 2:02Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
11. 2:15Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
12. 2:29You do not have to win against the band around the forehead. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
13. 2:47Whatever the pressure building behind the eyes is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
14. 3:03Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
15. 3:14You do not have to like the ache from a long staring day to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
16. 3:32Imagine the band around the forehead as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
17. 3:50Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
18. 4:03If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
19. 4:17We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
20. 4:31A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
21. 4:42Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
22. 4:55We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
23. 5:05Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
24. 5:17If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
25. 5:30There's no need to try harder than this.
26. 5:41I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
27. 5:53Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
28. 6:07If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
29. 6:20A short silence. Let it be empty.
30. 6:30Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
31. 6:43Nothing here needs to be efficient.
32. 6:53Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
33. 7:04If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
34. 7:18Let this be easy, if easy is available.
35. 7:29Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
36. 7:39If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
37. 7:52Let the pause stretch out.
38. 8:01Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
39. 8:14Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
40. 8:26I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
41. 8:38If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
42. 8:51Let the quiet do its work.
43. 9:01Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
44. 9:14Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
45. 9:24I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
46. 9:37Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
47. 9:48Stay with it.
48. 9:56If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
49. 10:09I'll step back. You stay here.
50. 10:19Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
51. 10:32Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
52. 10:46No rush to move on.
53. 10:55Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
54. 11:08Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
55. 11:19Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
56. 11:29Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
57. 11:43Nothing changes for a moment.
58. 11:52Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
59. 12:03Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
60. 12:17Remain here for a few more breaths.
61. 12:27Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
62. 12:40Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
63. 12:51Just the breath, still.
64. 13:00Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
65. 13:12Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
66. 13:25No need to open your eyes yet.
67. 13:35Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
68. 13:48Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
69. 13:59Keep following the air.
70. 14:08Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
71. 14:20Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
72. 14:33Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
73. 14:43Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
74. 14:55Nothing about the pressure building behind the eyes has to be explained or justified in this room.
75. 15:10Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
76. 15:22If the ache from a long staring day starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
77. 15:40Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
78. 15:53You are allowed to be unimpressed by the band around the forehead. Indifference is a legitimate response.
79. 16:08Let the pressure building behind the eyes be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
80. 16:28Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
81. 16:41Picture the ache from a long staring day as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
82. 17:00You have been carrying the band around the forehead for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
83. 17:20Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
84. 17:32Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
85. 17:44If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
86. 17:58If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
87. 18:11Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
88. 18:23Small efforts are the whole method.
89. 18:33Take the next breath slowly.
90. 18:42Before you open your eyes, notice how you feel compared to the start. It might be small.
91. 18:57Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
92. 19:10A few seconds more.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.