15-minute guided self-compassion practice for falling asleep — after work

About this practice

For the times after work when falling asleep takes up more room than you would like — 15 minutes, self-compassion. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: falling asleep

Falling asleep is a passive process. The harder you aim at it, the further it moves, because the effort itself is arousal.

It tends to show up as:

• Watching the clock
• Getting frustrated at being awake
• Sleep only arriving after giving up

Attention on something boring and continuous is the oldest trick there is. That is all a sleep story is doing.

Doing this after work

• Change something physical first — shoes off, coat off — so the transition registers
• Do it before picking up the evening tasks
• Aim to end it fully, not just stop

Without a marker, work follows you into the evening. The session is the marker.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let the floor take your weight through your feet, and stop holding yourself up for a second.
2. 0:15There's no need to try harder than this.
3. 0:26Let your attention rest on the out-breath. The in-breath can take care of itself.
4. 0:40Let your attention settle on the space between your nose and your upper lip, where the air passes.
5. 0:56Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
6. 1:10Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
7. 1:21Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
8. 1:34Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
9. 1:46Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:58Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
11. 2:10Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
12. 2:22Whatever the thoughts that keep the light on is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
13. 2:38Picture the surrender at the end of the day as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
14. 2:58Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
15. 3:14the slow drift toward sleep may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
16. 3:32Feel the weight of the thoughts that keep the light on somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
17. 3:50Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
18. 4:02Stay here a little longer.
19. 4:11Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
20. 4:22Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
21. 4:33Nothing changes for a moment.
22. 4:42Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
23. 4:56Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
24. 5:06Remain here for a few more breaths.
25. 5:16Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
26. 5:29Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
27. 5:41Let the quiet do its work.
28. 5:51Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
29. 6:05Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
30. 6:17Keep following the air.
31. 6:26Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
32. 6:38Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
33. 6:50A few seconds more.
34. 6:59Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
35. 7:11If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
36. 7:24Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
37. 7:38Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
38. 7:50Nothing here needs to be efficient.
39. 8:00If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
40. 8:13Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
41. 8:25Let this be easy, if easy is available.
42. 8:36If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
43. 8:49Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
44. 9:00You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
45. 9:13If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
46. 9:28I'll step back. You stay here.
47. 9:38We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
48. 9:48If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
49. 10:01I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
50. 10:14Small efforts are the whole method.
51. 10:24Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
52. 10:37Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
53. 10:50I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
54. 11:02Notice the space around the surrender at the end of the day. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
55. 11:21If you catch yourself fighting the slow drift toward sleep, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
56. 11:39Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
57. 11:51When the thoughts that keep the light on presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
58. 12:11You do not have to solve the surrender at the end of the day in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
59. 12:32Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
60. 12:43Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
61. 12:55Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
62. 13:07If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
63. 13:21Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
64. 13:33We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
65. 13:47Let your body keep settling.
66. 13:56Take one breath that's a little fuller than the others, and let it out through your mouth.
67. 14:11Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.