10-minute guided softening practice for insomnia — after a long day

About this practice

A 10-minute softening session for insomnia, after a long day. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading bedtime
• Hours awake with a busy mind
• Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let the first out-breath be longer than the in-breath. Nothing dramatic, just longer.
2. 0:13If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
3. 0:28Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
4. 0:43Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
5. 0:57Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
6. 1:09Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
7. 1:22Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
8. 1:35Feel your calves, front and back.
9. 1:45Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
10. 1:57Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
11. 2:08Picture the counting of hours until morning as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
12. 2:27Notice how the frustration of not sleeping changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
13. 2:44Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
14. 2:55Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
15. 3:08I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
16. 3:20Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
17. 3:34Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
18. 3:48No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
19. 3:59Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
20. 4:11With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
21. 4:26Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
22. 4:36Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
23. 4:50Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
24. 5:03No rush to move on.
25. 5:12Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
26. 5:25Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
27. 5:37Take the next breath slowly.
28. 5:46Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
29. 5:57Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
30. 6:10Keep following the air.
31. 6:19Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
32. 6:31Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
33. 6:45A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
34. 6:56You do not have to like the wide-awake mind at 2am to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
35. 7:13Let the counting of hours until morning be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
36. 7:33Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
37. 7:44If the frustration of not sleeping starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
38. 8:01You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
39. 8:13Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
40. 8:26I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
41. 8:39We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
42. 8:53Nothing changes for a moment.
43. 9:02Give your hands a stretch before you go back to using them.
44. 9:15Before you move, notice one thing that's fine right now.
45. 9:27Let your body keep settling.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.