Worry: 20-minute softening meditation, on a plane

About this practice

20 minutes to meet worry with less of a fight. A softening practice, on a plane. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: worry

Worry is rehearsal for a future that has not arrived. The body responds to the imagined event as if it were happening, so you pay the cost twice.

It tends to show up as:

What-ifs lined up in a queue
A knot low in the stomach
Rehearsing bad outcomes before bed

You do not have to resolve the worry. Noticing it as a mental event, rather than an accurate forecast, loosens its grip.

Doing this on a plane

Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
0:13If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
0:28Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
0:42Nothing here needs to be pleasant. Neutral is fine. Dull is fine.
0:55Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
1:06Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
1:19Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
1:32Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
1:44Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
1:57Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
2:09Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
2:22the knot of worry low in the stomach may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
2:41You are allowed to be unimpressed by the mind rehearsing bad endings. Indifference is a legitimate response.
2:56Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
3:09Let the exhale carry a little of the what-ifs lined up like worries with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
3:29If the knot of worry low in the stomach starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
3:47Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
4:03If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
4:16Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
4:30Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
4:41If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
4:55Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
5:08Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
5:19Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
5:30Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
5:44A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
5:55Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
6:06With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
6:21I'll step back. You stay here.
6:31You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
6:43Let the pause stretch out.
6:52Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
7:04Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
7:16I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
7:29Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
7:41A few seconds more.
7:50Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
8:04Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
8:16Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
8:28If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
8:43Take the next breath slowly.
8:52Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
9:05Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
9:18Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
9:30If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
9:43Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
9:57Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
10:10No rush to move on.
10:19Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
10:30A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
10:41Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
10:53Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
11:06Stay with it.
11:14Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
11:26I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
11:38Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
11:49Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
12:02Nothing changes for a moment.
12:11If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
12:24A short silence. Let it be empty.
12:34Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
12:44Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
12:55Let the quiet do its work.
13:05Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
13:17Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
13:30Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
13:40Feel your calves, front and back.
13:50Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
14:05Just the breath, still.
14:14Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
14:26Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
14:40Stay here a little longer.
14:49Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
15:00Whatever the mind rehearsing bad endings is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
15:15No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
15:26You have been carrying the what-ifs lined up like worries for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
15:47Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
16:01Notice how the knot of worry low in the stomach changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
16:19Imagine the mind rehearsing bad endings as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
16:37Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
16:48Notice where the what-ifs lined up like worries lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
17:07You do not have to like the knot of worry low in the stomach to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
17:25Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
17:38Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
17:50Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
18:02If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
18:16Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
18:28We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
18:42No need to open your eyes yet.
18:52Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
19:03Take your time opening your eyes. Nothing is waiting urgently.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Worry is rehearsal for a future that has not arrived. The body responds to the imagined event as if it were happening, so you pay the cost twice. You do not have to resolve the worry. Noticing it as a mental event, rather than an accurate forecast, loosens its grip.

Where and when should I do this one?

Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on. Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.