Tension headaches: 7-minute self-compassion meditation, when it all piles up

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for tension headaches. A self-compassion session you can do when it all piles up. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this when you are overwhelmed

• Do not decide priorities during it
• Pick the shortest session available here
• When you finish, write down the first physical action on paper

The pile looks less like a pile once the alarm stops ringing. Sort it after, not during.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Part of you is still in the last conversation you had. That's fine. It can sit here too.
2. 0:16Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
3. 0:30Notice the weight of your arms without moving them.
4. 0:41There's a difference between relaxing and stopping. We're aiming for the second one, gently.
5. 0:55Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
6. 1:06Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
7. 1:19Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
8. 1:32Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
9. 1:45Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
10. 1:58There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
11. 2:16Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the ache from a long staring day is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
12. 2:36Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
13. 2:48Let this one be unhurried.
14. 2:57Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
15. 3:10If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
16. 3:23Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
17. 3:35Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
18. 3:51You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
19. 4:03Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
20. 4:18A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
21. 4:29Let the band around the forehead be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
22. 4:49Notice the space around the pressure building behind the eyes. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
23. 5:08Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
24. 5:21Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
25. 5:33If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
26. 5:46A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
27. 5:57Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
28. 6:13Roll your neck once, slowly, in whichever direction feels good.
29. 6:25Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.