Meditation for frustration: 20-minute self-compassion session, on the morning of an interview

About this practice

When frustration shows up on the morning of an interview, this 20-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this before an interview

• Do it where you will not be interrupted, even if that is a stairwell
• Have the first sentence of your answer ready afterwards
• Keep it short — there is no time for a long session

Nerves before an interview are normal and not something to eliminate. You need access to what you know, nothing more.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your next exhale be a sigh, if a sigh is what's waiting there.
2. 0:14Nothing here needs to be efficient.
3. 0:24Notice the pause at the end of each breath. It's short, but it's there.
4. 0:38Notice your own pulse somewhere. Wrist, throat, wherever you can find it.
5. 0:51Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
6. 1:03Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
7. 1:14Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
8. 1:26Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:39Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
10. 1:52Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
11. 2:03Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
12. 2:15Let the exhale carry a little of the repeated small irritations with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
13. 2:34There is no correct amount of the jaw tight with frustration to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
14. 2:52Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
15. 3:06Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
16. 3:23You do not have to like the repeated small irritations to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
17. 3:39Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
18. 3:52If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
19. 4:05You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
20. 4:18A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
21. 4:29If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
22. 4:42Let this be easy, if easy is available.
23. 4:53I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
24. 5:06If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
25. 5:19We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
26. 5:29Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
27. 5:41Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
28. 5:54If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
29. 6:07Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
30. 6:19Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
31. 6:31There's no need to try harder than this.
32. 6:42A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
33. 6:53Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
34. 7:04We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
35. 7:18I'll step back. You stay here.
36. 7:28If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
37. 7:42Stay with it.
38. 7:50Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
39. 8:03Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
40. 8:14Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
41. 8:25If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
42. 8:38A few seconds more.
43. 8:47Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
44. 9:01Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
45. 9:12Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
46. 9:24Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
47. 9:38Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
48. 9:48Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
49. 10:02Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
50. 10:13Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
51. 10:25Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
52. 10:36Let it be this simple.
53. 10:45Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
54. 10:59A short silence. Let it be empty.
55. 11:09Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
56. 11:21Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
57. 11:34Let the quiet do its work.
58. 11:44Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
59. 11:56Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
60. 12:08Let this one be unhurried.
61. 12:17Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
62. 12:30Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
63. 12:43Keep following the air.
64. 12:52Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
65. 13:04Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
66. 13:17Nothing changes for a moment.
67. 13:26Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
68. 13:39Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
69. 13:55Let your body keep settling.
70. 14:04Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
71. 14:18Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
72. 14:31Let the pause stretch out.
73. 14:40Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
74. 14:50Notice where the jaw tight with frustration lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
75. 15:08I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
76. 15:20the annoyance that will not settle may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
77. 15:38Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
78. 15:52Imagine the repeated small irritations as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
79. 16:10When the jaw tight with frustration presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
80. 16:29Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
81. 16:43If the annoyance that will not settle has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
82. 17:01Picture the repeated small irritations as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
83. 17:19Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
84. 17:31If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
85. 17:44If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
86. 17:57If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
87. 18:11I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
88. 18:23Small efforts are the whole method.
89. 18:33Take the next breath slowly.
90. 18:42Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
91. 18:54Let the last minute of quiet be the last minute of quiet.
92. 19:07Just the breath, still.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.