Stress: 20-minute softening meditation, on a rest day

About this practice

When stress shows up on a rest day, this 20-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: stress

Stress is a load that does not come off. Muscle tension accumulates in the shoulders, jaw and gut, and the body stops returning to baseline between demands.

It tends to show up as:

• Shoulders sitting up near the ears
• Short temper over small things
• Waking already tired

Short practices work on the physical part of the load. They do not remove the demands, but they stop the body storing all of them.

Doing this on a rest day

• Do it without a reason or a target
• Later in the day, unhurried, in good light
• Let it be longer than usual if you want

Rest that has to be justified is not really rest. This one is allowed to be pointless.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Notice the temperature of the air on the backs of your hands.
2. 0:13We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
3. 0:27Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
4. 0:40Nothing here needs to be pleasant. Neutral is fine. Dull is fine.
5. 0:53Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:07Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
7. 1:21Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
8. 1:33Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
9. 1:44Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
10. 1:56Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
11. 2:06Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
12. 2:18Imagine the tension of too much on the plate as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
13. 2:37Feel the weight of the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
14. 2:55Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
15. 3:06This is not the last time the load you are carrying will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
16. 3:25Each time your mind hands you the tension of too much on the plate, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
17. 3:46Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
18. 4:00You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
19. 4:12There's no need to try harder than this.
20. 4:23Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
21. 4:35If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
22. 4:48Small efforts are the whole method.
23. 4:58Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
24. 5:08Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
25. 5:20We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
26. 5:30Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
27. 5:41Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
28. 5:53Nothing here needs to be efficient.
29. 6:03A short silence. Let it be empty.
30. 6:13If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
31. 6:26You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
32. 6:39No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
33. 6:50If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
34. 7:01Let this be easy, if easy is available.
35. 7:12I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
36. 7:25Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
37. 7:37Stay here a little longer.
38. 7:46Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
39. 7:59Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
40. 8:12A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
41. 8:23If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
42. 8:38Keep following the air.
43. 8:47Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
44. 8:59Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
45. 9:11A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
46. 9:22Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
47. 9:35Let this one be unhurried.
48. 9:44Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
49. 9:58I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
50. 10:10Feel the tops of your thighs.
51. 10:20Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
52. 10:36Just the breath, still.
53. 10:45Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
54. 10:58Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
55. 11:10Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
56. 11:22Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
57. 11:35Let the quiet do its work.
58. 11:45Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
59. 11:58Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
60. 12:11Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
61. 12:21Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
62. 12:33Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
63. 12:46No need to open your eyes yet.
64. 12:56Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
65. 13:09If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
66. 13:23Take the next breath slowly.
67. 13:32Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
68. 13:45Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
69. 13:59Let the pause stretch out.
70. 14:08Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
71. 14:20Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
72. 14:33Nothing changes for a moment.
73. 14:42Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
74. 14:55If the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
75. 15:13I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
76. 15:25You are allowed to be unimpressed by the load you are carrying. Indifference is a legitimate response.
77. 15:40Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
78. 15:53You do not have to solve the tension of too much on the plate in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
79. 16:14Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
80. 16:34Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
81. 16:45You have been carrying the load you are carrying for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
82. 17:05If the tension of too much on the plate has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
83. 17:24Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
84. 17:38If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
85. 17:51If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
86. 18:04If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
87. 18:17I'll step back. You stay here.
88. 18:27If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
89. 18:40No rush to move on.
90. 18:49Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
91. 18:59Notice if anything has loosened. Even slightly counts.
92. 19:10Stay with it.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.