Self-compassion meditation for stress (3 min), on a Sunday

About this practice

For the times on a Sunday when stress takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, self-compassion. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: stress

Stress is a load that does not come off. Muscle tension accumulates in the shoulders, jaw and gut, and the body stops returning to baseline between demands.

It tends to show up as:

• Shoulders sitting up near the ears
• Short temper over small things
• Waking already tired

Short practices work on the physical part of the load. They do not remove the demands, but they stop the body storing all of them.

Doing this at the weekend

• Do it without a schedule to justify it
• Later in the morning, in better light, usually works well
• Let the length be open-ended if the time allows

Recovery is not something you have to earn first, and treating it as a reward keeps it conditional.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your tongue rest down, away from the roof of your mouth.
2. 0:13You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:26There's a difference between relaxing and stopping. We're aiming for the second one, gently.
4. 0:40Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
5. 0:53Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
6. 1:05Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
7. 1:17If the low-grade alarm of being stretched thin is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
8. 1:35Each time your mind hands you the load you are carrying, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
9. 1:54Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
10. 2:07If you catch yourself fighting the tension of too much on the plate, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
11. 2:26Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
12. 2:39We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
13. 2:53Let the last of the stillness stay with you for a few more seconds.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.