Self-criticism: 15-minute noting meditation, in the air

About this practice

For the times in the air when self-criticism takes up more room than you would like — 15 minutes, noting. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: self-criticism

Self-criticism is a habit of speech, not an accurate report. The same inner voice repeats whether or not the evidence supports it.

It tends to show up as:

• A running commentary on your mistakes
• Harsh words you would never say aloud to someone else
• Reviewing old failures in detail

The practice is not to argue with the voice, but to speak to yourself in a tone that does not require an argument.

Doing this on a plane

• Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
• Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
• Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How noting works

Noting is a technique from insight practice: when something arises, you give it a single plain label — thinking, hearing, planning — and return to the anchor. The label creates a small distance between you and the content.

• Use one word, not a sentence — explaining means you have joined in
• Label and return; do not follow the thought to see where it goes
• Drop the labelling if it becomes effortful and just follow the breath

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're sitting, let the chair do the work of holding you upright.
2. 0:13You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:26You can think about other things. When you notice, come back. That's the whole practice.
4. 0:40We'll start broad and narrow down. Nothing sudden is coming.
5. 0:52Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
6. 1:05Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
7. 1:17Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
8. 1:28Notice your breathing, without changing it.
9. 1:38Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
10. 1:50Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
11. 2:03Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
12. 2:15Give the record of your mistakes a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
13. 2:33If you catch yourself fighting the harsh voice inside, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
14. 2:50Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
15. 3:02Let the exhale carry a little of the criticism you would never aim at a friend with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
16. 3:23Each time your mind hands you the record of your mistakes, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
17. 3:42Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
18. 3:54Keep following the air.
19. 4:03Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
20. 4:16Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
21. 4:30No rush to move on.
22. 4:39Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
23. 4:50Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
24. 5:01Let the quiet do its work.
25. 5:11Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
26. 5:24Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
27. 5:36Let it be this simple.
28. 5:45Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
29. 5:58Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
30. 6:11No need to open your eyes yet.
31. 6:21Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
32. 6:36Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
33. 6:48Let your body keep settling.
34. 6:57Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
35. 7:10Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
36. 7:21We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
37. 7:31If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
38. 7:45A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
39. 7:56Nothing here needs to be efficient.
40. 8:06If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
41. 8:21I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
42. 8:33If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
43. 8:46Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
44. 8:58I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
45. 9:10Small efforts are the whole method.
46. 9:20If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
47. 9:33Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
48. 9:45We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
49. 9:59Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
50. 10:12I'll step back. You stay here.
51. 10:22Let this be easy, if easy is available.
52. 10:33Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
53. 10:45Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
54. 10:56A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
55. 11:07You have been carrying the harsh voice inside for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
56. 11:27Notice the space around the criticism you would never aim at a friend. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
57. 11:47Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
58. 12:01the record of your mistakes may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
59. 12:19Imagine softening the edges of the harsh voice inside. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
60. 12:36Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
61. 12:48You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
62. 13:00Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
63. 13:14Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
64. 13:25Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
65. 13:37There's no need to try harder than this.
66. 13:48Let the pause stretch out.
67. 13:57Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.
68. 14:10Stretch whatever feels stiff, then carry on.
69. 14:20Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.