Self-compassion for sadness: 15 minutes, on a slow Sunday

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for sadness. A self-compassion session you can do on a slow Sunday. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: sadness

Low mood physically shows up as heaviness — a weight behind the eyes, slow movement, and a body that feels harder to lift.

It tends to show up as:

• Tears arriving on their own
• Everything feeling like an effort
• Withdrawing without deciding to

Sadness does not need to be argued away. Being steady and unhurried beside it is often more useful than trying to feel better.

Doing this on a rest day

• Do it without a reason or a target
• Later in the day, unhurried, in good light
• Let it be longer than usual if you want

Rest that has to be justified is not really rest. This one is allowed to be pointless.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're lying down, let the mattress hold all of you. You can stop holding yourself up.
2. 0:15You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:28Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
4. 0:43Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
5. 0:57Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:11Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
7. 1:22Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
8. 1:34Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
9. 1:46Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
10. 1:57Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
11. 2:09Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
12. 2:20the quiet ache behind the eyes may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
13. 2:38You do not have to like the grey weight of low mood to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
14. 2:55Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
15. 3:08This is not the last time the tears that arrive on their own will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
16. 3:28When the quiet ache behind the eyes arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
17. 3:47Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
18. 3:59Let your body keep settling.
19. 4:08Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
20. 4:22Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
21. 4:34No need to open your eyes yet.
22. 4:44Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
23. 4:57Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
24. 5:08No rush to move on.
25. 5:17Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
26. 5:30Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
27. 5:42Just the breath, still.
28. 5:51Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
29. 6:07Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
30. 6:19Let it be this simple.
31. 6:28Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
32. 6:41Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
33. 6:52Stay with it.
34. 7:00Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
35. 7:13Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
36. 7:25If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
37. 7:38If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
38. 7:52Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
39. 8:03Nothing here needs to be efficient.
40. 8:13Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
41. 8:24A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
42. 8:35We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
43. 8:45Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
44. 8:57A short silence. Let it be empty.
45. 9:07Small efforts are the whole method.
46. 9:17Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
47. 9:29Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
48. 9:41We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
49. 9:55Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
50. 10:06I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
51. 10:18Let this be easy, if easy is available.
52. 10:29Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
53. 10:41Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
54. 10:54I'll step back. You stay here.
55. 11:04Let the grey weight of low mood be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
56. 11:24You have been carrying the tears that arrive on their own for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
57. 11:45Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
58. 11:56Notice the space around the quiet ache behind the eyes. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
59. 12:15Notice how the grey weight of low mood changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
60. 12:32Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
61. 12:44Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
62. 12:57If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
63. 13:08Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
64. 13:21I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
65. 13:34There's no need to try harder than this.
66. 13:45Nothing changes for a moment.
67. 13:54Let the next breath be the start of the rest of the day.
68. 14:07Come back at your own speed. The room will wait.
69. 14:19Keep following the air.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.