5-minute letting go meditation for loneliness, on your commute

About this practice

For the times on your commute when loneliness takes up more room than you would like — 5 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 5 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: loneliness

Loneliness registers in the body much like physical pain. It raises vigilance and lowers the threshold for reading neutral things as rejection.

It tends to show up as:

The quiet of the house feeling loud
Feeling unseen even in company
Assuming you are an inconvenience

A guided voice in the room does not replace company, but it does reduce the sense of being entirely on your own with it.

Doing this on your commute

Headphones on, eyes open or closed depending on your comfort
Keep one part of your attention on your stop
Do it standing if sitting is not possible — nobody is watching

Commuting time is already dead time. Nothing is being given up.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00If you're lying down, let the mattress hold all of you. You can stop holding yourself up.
0:15Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
0:30Let the breath get a little quieter, as if you were trying not to wake someone sleeping nearby.
0:46For the next few minutes, the only job is to notice what's already happening.
1:00Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
1:16Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
1:27Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
1:40Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
1:52Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
2:04With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
2:19If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
2:33Notice the space around the hollow feeling when the house is quiet. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
2:52Think of the sense of being unseen as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
3:10Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
3:24You have been carrying the ache of isolation for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
3:44Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
3:57I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
4:09You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
4:24Let the last minute of quiet be the last minute of quiet.
4:37Let it be this simple.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Loneliness registers in the body much like physical pain. It raises vigilance and lowers the threshold for reading neutral things as rejection. A guided voice in the room does not replace company, but it does reduce the sense of being entirely on your own with it.

Where and when should I do this one?

Headphones on, eyes open or closed depending on your comfort. Commuting time is already dead time. Nothing is being given up.

What actually happens during the 5 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.