Insomnia: 20-minute letting go meditation, at night

About this practice

For the times at night when insomnia takes up more room than you would like — 20 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading bedtime
• Hours awake with a busy mind
• Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this at night

• Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
• Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
• Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're sitting, let the chair do the work of holding you upright.
2. 0:13We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
3. 0:28Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
4. 0:42We're going to move through the body in order, roughly from top to bottom.
5. 0:56Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
6. 1:11Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
7. 1:23Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
8. 1:35Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
9. 1:47Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
10. 1:58Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
11. 2:12Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
12. 2:22Nothing about the wide-awake mind at 2am has to be explained or justified in this room.
13. 2:37Notice where the counting of hours until morning lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
14. 2:56Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
15. 3:07Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the frustration of not sleeping is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
16. 3:26Let the wide-awake mind at 2am be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
17. 3:46Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
18. 3:59If you're judging your performance, that's the same habit as judging everything else.
19. 4:12Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
20. 4:27Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
21. 4:39If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
22. 4:51With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
23. 5:06I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
24. 5:19If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
25. 5:33Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
26. 5:49I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
27. 6:01Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
28. 6:13You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
29. 6:28Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
30. 6:40If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
31. 6:53A few seconds more.
32. 7:02Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
33. 7:13Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
34. 7:26I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
35. 7:38Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
36. 7:50Let it be this simple.
37. 7:59Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
38. 8:13Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
39. 8:25No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
40. 8:36If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
41. 8:49Keep following the air.
42. 8:58Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
43. 9:14Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
44. 9:26A short silence. Let it be empty.
45. 9:36Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
46. 9:49Stay with it.
47. 9:57If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
48. 10:10Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
49. 10:20Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
50. 10:31If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
51. 10:45Nothing changes for a moment.
52. 10:54Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
53. 11:07A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
54. 11:18Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
55. 11:30Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
56. 11:45Let the quiet do its work.
57. 11:55Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
58. 12:08I'll step back. You stay here.
59. 12:18Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
60. 12:30Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
61. 12:44Just the breath, still.
62. 12:53Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
63. 13:06Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
64. 13:19No need to open your eyes yet.
65. 13:29Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
66. 13:41Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
67. 13:54Let your body keep settling.
68. 14:03Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
69. 14:14Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
70. 14:28No rush to move on.
71. 14:37Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
72. 14:49There is no correct amount of the counting of hours until morning to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
73. 15:08Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
74. 15:19the frustration of not sleeping may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
75. 15:37Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
76. 15:53You do not have to solve the wide-awake mind at 2am in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
77. 16:12Whatever the counting of hours until morning is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
78. 16:28Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
79. 16:40You do not have to like the frustration of not sleeping to breathe through it. Liking was never the requirement.
80. 16:57Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
81. 17:14Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
82. 17:28Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
83. 17:41Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
84. 17:52Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
85. 18:05Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
86. 18:16Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
87. 18:32Stay here a little longer.
88. 18:41Give your hands a stretch before you go back to using them.
89. 18:54Notice the quiet you made, and let it close gently.
90. 19:06Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.