20-minute grounding meditation for the inner critic, as sleep prep

About this practice

For the times as sleep prep when the inner critic takes up more room than you would like — 20 minutes, grounding. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

A judge commenting on everything
Anticipating criticism before it comes
Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this before sleep

Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How grounding works

Grounding brings attention to physical contact and the immediate environment. It works on the principle that the body cannot be somewhere else, so contact with the surface you are on is always available as an anchor.

Feel the contact points — feet, seat, back — and let them take your weight
Use the senses deliberately: what you can see, hear, touch
Return to solidity whenever attention drifts

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Let your forehead smooth out. Most of us hold a small frown there all day.
0:14If your mind has gone somewhere else, the floor under you has not moved. Start from there.
0:29If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
0:44Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
0:58Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
1:13Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
1:27Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
1:40Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
1:52Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
2:03Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
2:15Feel your calves, front and back.
2:25Notice the space around the running commentary on your flaws. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
2:44There is no correct amount of the voice that grades everything to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
3:02Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
3:15Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
3:32When the running commentary on your flaws presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
3:52Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
4:05If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
4:20Feel the contact points — feet, seat, back. That contact is the whole anchor.
4:34Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
4:45Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
4:59Press down slightly and feel the push back. Your body already knows where it is.
5:13A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
5:24Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
5:37Name what you can see, hear and touch. Counting senses is not a distraction; it is the practice.
5:53A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
6:04Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
6:17Come back to the solid things: weight, temperature, surface. They are always available.
6:30I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
6:43Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
6:57Keep following the air.
7:06Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
7:20Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
7:34A short silence. Let it be empty.
7:44If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
7:57Remain here for a few more breaths.
8:07Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
8:19Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
8:30Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
8:42You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
8:54Nothing changes for a moment.
9:03Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
9:16Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
9:29Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
9:40Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
9:51Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
10:04Stay with it.
10:12If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
10:27Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
10:37Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
10:50Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
11:06No need to open your eyes yet.
11:16If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
11:27Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
11:39Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
11:51Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
12:04Let this one be unhurried.
12:13Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
12:24A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
12:35Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
12:46Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
12:58No rush to move on.
13:07Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
13:17Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
13:28Let your body keep settling.
13:37Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
13:50Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
14:03Let it be this simple.
14:12Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
14:23Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
14:36Let the pause stretch out.
14:45Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
14:56If the voice that grades everything is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
15:13No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
15:24Give the judge in your head a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
15:42Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
15:53You do not have to solve the running commentary on your flaws in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
16:13If you catch yourself fighting the voice that grades everything, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
16:31Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
16:44Imagine the judge in your head as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
17:02Let the exhale carry a little of the running commentary on your flaws with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
17:22Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
17:35Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
17:47If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
18:00If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
18:13Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
18:24The floor is holding you right now. You do not have to hold yourself up.
18:38A few seconds more.
18:47Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
18:59Take one last look at whatever your attention settled on.
19:11Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed. You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Where and when should I do this one?

Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach. Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

What actually happens during the 20 minutes?

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.