15-minute self-compassion meditation for jaw tension, as sleep prep

About this practice

When jaw tension shows up as sleep prep, this 15-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: jaw tension

The jaw is a stress-holding site for many people, often without awareness until it aches. Grinding at night and clenching by day are the same response.

It tends to show up as:

• Clenched teeth, especially in the evening
• Aching or clicking jaw joints
• A dull headache at the temples

Repeatedly checking and softening the jaw through a session teaches you to catch the clench during the day.

Doing this before sleep

• Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
• Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
• Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Take a moment to notice the room behind you, without turning around.
2. 0:13You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
3. 0:26Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
4. 0:39Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
5. 0:51Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
6. 1:05Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
7. 1:17Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
8. 1:29Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
9. 1:41Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
10. 1:53Feel your upper back against whatever is behind it.
11. 2:04Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
12. 2:18Think of the grinding that follows worry as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
13. 2:36There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
14. 2:54If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
15. 3:08Notice the space around the tight jaw that speaks for your stress. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
16. 3:27Picture the grinding that follows worry as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
17. 3:46Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
18. 3:59Let the quiet do its work.
19. 4:09Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
20. 4:22Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
21. 4:34Let your body keep settling.
22. 4:43Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
23. 4:56Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
24. 5:10Let the pause stretch out.
25. 5:19Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
26. 5:33Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
27. 5:46No need to open your eyes yet.
28. 5:56Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
29. 6:10Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
30. 6:23A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
31. 6:34You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
32. 6:46Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
33. 6:56No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
34. 7:07Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
35. 7:18Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
36. 7:31Nothing changes for a moment.
37. 7:40If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
38. 7:54Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
39. 8:05The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
40. 8:20Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
41. 8:34I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
42. 8:46Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
43. 9:02If you've lost track of where we were, you haven't lost anything important.
44. 9:15Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
45. 9:27Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
46. 9:43If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
47. 9:56Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
48. 10:08Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
49. 10:22If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
50. 10:35Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
51. 10:48A short silence. Let it be empty.
52. 10:58If you catch yourself fighting the clenched teeth at night, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
53. 11:16Give the tight jaw that speaks for your stress a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
54. 11:35Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
55. 11:48Notice how the grinding that follows worry changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
56. 12:05Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the clenched teeth at night is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
57. 12:24Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
58. 12:40If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
59. 12:55Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
60. 13:07If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
61. 13:21Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
62. 13:32Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
63. 13:47A few seconds more.
64. 13:56Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
65. 14:10Come back at your own speed. The room will wait.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.