Self-compassion meditation for jaw tension (15 min), beside your desk

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 15 minutes of self-compassion for jaw tension, beside your desk. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: jaw tension

The jaw is a stress-holding site for many people, often without awareness until it aches. Grinding at night and clenching by day are the same response.

It tends to show up as:

• Clenched teeth, especially in the evening
• Aching or clicking jaw joints
• A dull headache at the temples

Repeatedly checking and softening the jaw through a session teaches you to catch the clench during the day.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Nothing needs to be decided in the next few minutes. Park the decisions.
2. 0:13Small efforts are the whole method.
3. 0:23There's no correct speed. Slower isn't better. Steadier is the only aim.
4. 0:36If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
5. 0:51Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
6. 1:02Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
7. 1:16Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
8. 1:28Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
9. 1:40Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
10. 1:53Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
11. 2:06Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
12. 2:19Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
13. 2:36Give the grinding that follows worry a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
14. 2:54Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
15. 3:07the clenched teeth at night may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
16. 3:25You are allowed to be unimpressed by the tight jaw that speaks for your stress. Indifference is a legitimate response.
17. 3:42Move to your forehead. Let it be smooth instead of gathered.
18. 3:54Just the breath, still.
19. 4:03Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
20. 4:16Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
21. 4:27No rush to move on.
22. 4:36Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
23. 4:49Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
24. 5:01Take the next breath slowly.
25. 5:10Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
26. 5:23Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
27. 5:35Stay here a little longer.
28. 5:44If you're holding your breath at the top, stop. There's no need to hold anything.
29. 5:58Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
30. 6:10No need to open your eyes yet.
31. 6:20Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
32. 6:36Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
33. 6:46Let the pause stretch out.
34. 6:55Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
35. 7:09Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
36. 7:21We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
37. 7:35If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
38. 7:49A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
39. 8:00If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
40. 8:13Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
41. 8:25Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
42. 8:36Let this be easy, if easy is available.
43. 8:47If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
44. 9:02Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
45. 9:14You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
46. 9:27Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
47. 9:38I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
48. 9:50We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
49. 10:00Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
50. 10:13Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
51. 10:24There's no need to try harder than this.
52. 10:35Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
53. 10:49Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
54. 11:03I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
55. 11:16If the grinding that follows worry is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
56. 11:33Let the clenched teeth at night be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
57. 11:53Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
58. 12:08Each time your mind hands you the tight jaw that speaks for your stress, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
59. 12:29If the grinding that follows worry has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
60. 12:47Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
61. 12:58Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
62. 13:11If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
63. 13:23Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
64. 13:34Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
65. 13:45Nothing here needs to be efficient.
66. 13:55Keep following the air.
67. 14:04Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
68. 14:14Take one last look at whatever your attention settled on.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.