10-minute softening meditation for mindfulness, in the evening

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for mindfulness. A softening session you can do in the evening. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: mindfulness

Attention spends most of its time in the past or the future. Being present is not a state you find, it is a return you keep making.

It tends to show up as:

• Missing conversations while composing replies
• Arriving somewhere with no memory of the walk
• Eating without tasting

Every return to the senses is a repetition of the actual skill. Losing it is part of the practice, not a break in it.

Doing this in the evening

• Dim the lights first — bright light works against the point
• Put the phone in another room
• Keep it slow rather than interesting

Something too engaging will wake you up rather than wind you down.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Feel your ribs move. That is all the machinery you need to pay attention to right now.
2. 0:15If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
3. 0:30Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
4. 0:45Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
5. 0:58Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
6. 1:12Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
7. 1:26Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
8. 1:37Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
9. 1:49Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
10. 2:01Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
11. 2:13If the present moment you keep leaving has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
12. 2:31Notice where the here-and-now your attention skips lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
13. 2:49Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
14. 3:03We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
15. 3:17Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
16. 3:29Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
17. 3:43Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
18. 3:57I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
19. 4:09Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
20. 4:21Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
21. 4:34Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
22. 4:46Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
23. 4:59Stay here a little longer.
24. 5:08Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
25. 5:22Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
26. 5:35Keep following the air.
27. 5:44Feel your tongue sitting in the bottom of your mouth.
28. 5:56Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
29. 6:07Remain here for a few more breaths.
30. 6:17Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
31. 6:28Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
32. 6:44Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
33. 6:55If the ordinary present tense shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
34. 7:15Let the exhale carry a little of the present moment you keep leaving with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
35. 7:35Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
36. 7:48Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
37. 8:05If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
38. 8:18Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
39. 8:29A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
40. 8:40With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
41. 8:55Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
42. 9:05Come back to your body first, and the rest of the day second.
43. 9:18Start to notice the edges of your body again, and the surface you're on.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.