Self-compassion meditation for mindfulness (12 min), at your desk

About this practice

A 12-minute self-compassion session for mindfulness, at your desk. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: mindfulness

Attention spends most of its time in the past or the future. Being present is not a state you find, it is a return you keep making.

It tends to show up as:

• Missing conversations while composing replies
• Arriving somewhere with no memory of the walk
• Eating without tasting

Every return to the senses is a repetition of the actual skill. Losing it is part of the practice, not a break in it.

Doing this at your desk

• Feet flat, back supported, screen away from your eyeline
• You can do this with your eyes open if the office makes closing them awkward
• Unclench the jaw and drop the shoulders first, before anything else

Nobody needs to know you are doing it. Keep it invisible if that makes it possible.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Put a hand on your chest for a moment if that feels steadying. Or don't. Both are allowed.
2. 0:16Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
3. 0:32Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:46You can think about other things. When you notice, come back. That's the whole practice.
5. 1:00Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
6. 1:13Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
7. 1:27Feel your calves, front and back.
8. 1:37Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
9. 1:50Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
10. 2:02Notice your breathing, without changing it.
11. 2:12If the present moment you keep leaving is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
12. 2:30You do not have to win against the here-and-now your attention skips. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
13. 2:48Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
14. 3:04Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
15. 3:16Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
16. 3:30A short silence. Let it be empty.
17. 3:40If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
18. 3:52Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
19. 4:07Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
20. 4:19If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
21. 4:32The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
22. 4:47Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
23. 4:58If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
24. 5:11You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
25. 5:24A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
26. 5:35If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
27. 5:50Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
28. 6:04Nothing changes for a moment.
29. 6:13Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
30. 6:25Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
31. 6:38Let this one be unhurried.
32. 6:47Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
33. 6:58Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
34. 7:11Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
35. 7:21Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
36. 7:34Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
37. 7:47No rush to move on.
38. 7:56Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
39. 8:08Let the exhale carry a little of the ordinary present tense with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
40. 8:27Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
41. 8:39This is not the last time the present moment you keep leaving will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
42. 8:58Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
43. 9:14You do not have to solve the here-and-now your attention skips in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
44. 9:33There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
45. 9:51Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
46. 10:02Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
47. 10:15Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
48. 10:26A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
49. 10:37Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
50. 10:53Stay with it.
51. 11:01Let your breathing go back to whatever it does when nobody is watching.
52. 11:14Come back slowly. There's no prize for finishing fast.
53. 11:25Take the next breath slowly.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.