Meditation for contentment: 20-minute breathing session, during the evening wind-down

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 20 minutes of breathing for contentment, during the evening wind-down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: contentment

Contentment is the absence of the next want, not the presence of everything. It lasts only as long as the wanting pauses.

It tends to show up as:

• Arriving without enjoying the arrival
• Immediately wanting the next thing
• Rest feeling unearned

Not wanting more for a few minutes is a trainable state, and it is available without acquiring anything.

Doing this in the evening

• Dim the lights first — bright light works against the point
• Put the phone in another room
• Keep it slow rather than interesting

Something too engaging will wake you up rather than wind you down.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're lying down, let the mattress hold all of you. You can stop holding yourself up.
2. 0:15Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
3. 0:31Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
4. 0:45If it helps, imagine your attention is a torch beam. Right now it's wide and soft.
5. 1:00Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
6. 1:12Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
7. 1:26Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
8. 1:38Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
9. 1:50Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
10. 2:03Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
11. 2:15Feel the front of your chest. Notice it rise and fall once.
12. 2:28You do not have to win against the enough-ness of right now. You only have to breathe until the next moment arrives.
13. 2:46Let the exhale carry a little of the calm of not wanting more this minute with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
14. 3:07Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
15. 3:18There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
16. 3:36You do not have to solve the enough-ness of right now in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
17. 3:55Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
18. 4:08Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
19. 4:20Your anchor for the next few minutes is the breath itself. Nothing else needs following.
20. 4:34No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
21. 4:45If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
22. 4:58If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
23. 5:14I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
24. 5:27If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
25. 5:40Let the counting do the work. When you lose the count, start again from one — no penalty.
26. 5:56Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
27. 6:07If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
28. 6:21There is no target number here. Only the next breath, and then the one after it.
29. 6:36Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
30. 6:46Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
31. 7:00Remain here for a few more breaths.
32. 7:10Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
33. 7:26Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
34. 7:36A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
35. 7:47If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
36. 8:01Let the quiet do its work.
37. 8:11Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
38. 8:22Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
39. 8:33I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
40. 8:45Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
41. 8:58A few seconds more.
42. 9:07Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
43. 9:21Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
44. 9:32Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
45. 9:44Let your body keep settling.
46. 9:53Notice if you're being hard on yourself about any of this.
47. 10:05Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
48. 10:16Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
49. 10:27Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
50. 10:40No need to open your eyes yet.
51. 10:50Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
52. 11:02A short silence. Let it be empty.
53. 11:12Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
54. 11:24Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
55. 11:37Let it be this simple.
56. 11:46Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
57. 11:58A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
58. 12:09Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
59. 12:22Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
60. 12:36Keep following the air.
61. 12:45Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
62. 12:57Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
63. 13:10No rush to move on.
64. 13:19Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
65. 13:31Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
66. 13:44Stay here a little longer.
67. 13:53Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
68. 14:07Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
69. 14:21Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
70. 14:31Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
71. 14:43This is not the last time the calm of not wanting more this minute will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
72. 15:03Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
73. 15:14Imagine the settled feeling after striving as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
74. 15:32Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
75. 15:45When the enough-ness of right now arrives, name it once, quietly, and go back to the breath. Naming is not fixing, and that is fine.
76. 16:04Nothing about the calm of not wanting more this minute has to be explained or justified in this room.
77. 16:20Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
78. 16:33If the settled feeling after striving shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
79. 16:53Let the enough-ness of right now be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
80. 17:13Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
81. 17:27If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
82. 17:39If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
83. 17:53If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
84. 18:07A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
85. 18:18Keep the exhale a little longer than the inhale. That is the entire technique.
86. 18:32Take the next breath slowly.
87. 18:41Let the next breath be the start of the rest of the day.
88. 18:54Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.
89. 19:07Nothing changes for a moment.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.