Meditation for appreciation: 20-minute letting go session, at the end of the day

About this practice

When appreciation shows up at the end of the day, this 20-minute letting go session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: appreciation

Appreciation deepens by staying, not by listing. A moment held for two breaths registers differently from a moment catalogued.

It tends to show up as:

• Rushing past small kindnesses
• Not noticing ordinary comforts
• Thank-yous left unsaid

Slowing down for a moment is what turns something pleasant into something that stays with you.

Doing this after a long day

• Something physical first — shoes off, hands washed, water drunk
• Do not review the day during it
• Keep it short rather than thorough

Replaying the day in the practice just carries the day further into the evening.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're tired, you can let that be true. Tired is allowed here.
2. 0:13You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
3. 0:28Notice your own pulse somewhere. Wrist, throat, wherever you can find it.
4. 0:41Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
5. 0:55Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
6. 1:08Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
7. 1:22Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
8. 1:35Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
9. 1:46Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
10. 1:57Feel the tops of your thighs.
11. 2:07Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
12. 2:19Give the ordinary moments worth savoring a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
13. 2:37There is no correct amount of the thank-you waiting to be said to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
14. 2:56Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
15. 3:09Feel the weight of the overlooked kindnesses somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
16. 3:25If the ordinary moments worth savoring is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
17. 3:42Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
18. 3:55If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
19. 4:09We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
20. 4:24Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
21. 4:36If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
22. 4:50Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
23. 5:06Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
24. 5:17You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
25. 5:29Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
26. 5:44I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
27. 5:56If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
28. 6:09With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
29. 6:24Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
30. 6:35Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
31. 6:47Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
32. 6:57Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
33. 7:10Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
34. 7:22Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
35. 7:32Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
36. 7:45Nothing changes for a moment.
37. 7:54Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
38. 8:07Notice your shoulders, one at a time. The left one first.
39. 8:19Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
40. 8:30If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
41. 8:45Keep following the air.
42. 8:54Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
43. 9:07Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
44. 9:18Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
45. 9:30Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
46. 9:42No rush to move on.
47. 9:51If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
48. 10:05A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
49. 10:16Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
50. 10:26Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
51. 10:42Let it be this simple.
52. 10:51If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
53. 11:04Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
54. 11:16Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
55. 11:29Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
56. 11:41Take the next breath slowly.
57. 11:50Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
58. 12:02A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
59. 12:13Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
60. 12:25Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
61. 12:39Let the pause stretch out.
62. 12:48Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
63. 13:01Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
64. 13:14Remain here for a few more breaths.
65. 13:24Notice the weight of your thighs, all the way down.
66. 13:36Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
67. 13:52Let your body keep settling.
68. 14:01Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
69. 14:13Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
70. 14:27No need to open your eyes yet.
71. 14:37Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
72. 14:51If the thank-you waiting to be said starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
73. 15:08No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
74. 15:19If you catch yourself fighting the overlooked kindnesses, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
75. 15:36Feel the last part of the exhale, where it turns into nothing.
76. 15:49If the ordinary moments worth savoring shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
77. 16:09There is a part of you that has handled hard moments before. That part is here now, even if it is quiet.
78. 16:27Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
79. 16:41Think of the overlooked kindnesses as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
80. 16:58This is not the last time the ordinary moments worth savoring will visit. That is not bad news. It means you will get more practice.
81. 17:17Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
82. 17:31If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
83. 17:44If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
84. 17:58If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
85. 18:13I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
86. 18:25Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
87. 18:41Let this one be unhurried.
88. 18:50Give your hands a stretch before you go back to using them.
89. 19:03Before you move, notice one thing that's fine right now.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.