Softening meditation for insomnia (12 min), in the mid-afternoon

About this practice

When insomnia shows up in the mid-afternoon, this 12-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading bedtime
• Hours awake with a busy mind
• Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this in the mid-afternoon

• Sit upright and open a window if you can
• Expect heaviness rather than fighting it
• A short session here beats a longer one that never happens

The dip is a normal circadian low. You are riding it out, not correcting a fault.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00If you're sitting, let the chair do the work of holding you upright.
2. 0:13Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
3. 0:27You can let your eyes close now if they weren't already.
4. 0:39Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
5. 0:52Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
6. 1:05Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
7. 1:20Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
8. 1:32Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
9. 1:44Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
10. 1:56Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
11. 2:08Think of the wide-awake mind at 2am as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
12. 2:26Notice the space around the counting of hours until morning. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
13. 2:45Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
14. 2:58Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
15. 3:12Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
16. 3:25I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
17. 3:38If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
18. 3:49If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
19. 4:04I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
20. 4:16If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
21. 4:29With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
22. 4:44Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
23. 4:56If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
24. 5:11Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
25. 5:25A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
26. 5:36Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
27. 5:48Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
28. 6:03Let this one be unhurried.
29. 6:12Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
30. 6:25Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
31. 6:36Just the breath, still.
32. 6:45Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
33. 6:56Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
34. 7:08Stay here a little longer.
35. 7:17Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
36. 7:27Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
37. 7:41Remain here for a few more breaths.
38. 7:51Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
39. 8:04Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
40. 8:21Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
41. 8:33When the wide-awake mind at 2am presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
42. 8:52Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
43. 9:06Let the counting of hours until morning be exactly as big as it is, and let your breath be exactly as slow as it is. They can coexist.
44. 9:26Picture the frustration of not sleeping as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
45. 9:45Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
46. 9:58If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
47. 10:12Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
48. 10:25I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
49. 10:37We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
50. 10:51No need to open your eyes yet.
51. 11:01When you stand up, do it slowly. There's no reason to hurry.
52. 11:14Come back slowly. There's no prize for finishing fast.
53. 11:25No rush to move on.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.