Softening for worry: 7 minutes, before public speaking

About this practice

When worry shows up before public speaking, this 7-minute softening session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: worry

Worry is rehearsal for a future that has not arrived. The body responds to the imagined event as if it were happening, so you pay the cost twice.

It tends to show up as:

• What-ifs lined up in a queue
• A knot low in the stomach
• Rehearsing bad outcomes before bed

You do not have to resolve the worry. Noticing it as a mental event, rather than an accurate forecast, loosens its grip.

Doing this before public speaking

• Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
• Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
• Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Put a hand on your chest for a moment if that feels steadying. Or don't. Both are allowed.
2. 0:16With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
3. 0:31Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
4. 0:44Let your body be exactly as tired as it is.
5. 0:56Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
6. 1:09Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
7. 1:21Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
8. 1:34Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
9. 1:47Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
10. 2:00If the mind rehearsing bad endings has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
11. 2:18Notice how the what-ifs lined up like worries changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
12. 2:35Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
13. 2:47Take the next breath slowly.
14. 2:56Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
15. 3:11Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
16. 3:24I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
17. 3:36Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
18. 3:49If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
19. 4:02Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
20. 4:17I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
21. 4:29Feel the weight of the knot of worry low in the stomach somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
22. 4:47You have been carrying the mind rehearsing bad endings for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
23. 5:07Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
24. 5:20Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
25. 5:34Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
26. 5:46A short silence. Let it be empty.
27. 5:56If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
28. 6:11Roll your neck once, slowly, in whichever direction feels good.
29. 6:23Stretch whatever feels stiff, then carry on.
30. 6:33Let the quiet do its work.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.