Letting go meditation for anticipatory anxiety (12 min), before sleep

About this practice

For the times before sleep when anticipatory anxiety takes up more room than you would like — 12 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: anticipatory anxiety

Dread of an upcoming event is often heavier than the event itself. The waiting period keeps the body in low-level alert for days.

It tends to show up as:

• Stomach dropping when you remember what is coming
• Sleep getting worse as the date approaches
• Wanting to cancel to get relief

The anticipation is a state, not a warning. Practising being in the present while the dread is present teaches the body it can wait without bracing.

Doing this before sleep

• Dim the lights and put the phone out of reach
• Do it in bed if that helps you stay there
• Let yourself fall asleep rather than finishing it

Checking anything afterwards undoes most of it. Let this be the last thing.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00There is nothing to get right here. Nothing is being scored.
2. 0:12If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
3. 0:25Nothing here is a test of concentration. Drifting off is part of it.
4. 0:38Feel the small movements your body makes to keep you upright. They're happening without you.
5. 0:52Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
6. 1:05Notice the breath you're taking right now. That's the only one that exists.
7. 1:18Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
8. 1:31Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
9. 1:41Notice your eyebrows. They're probably doing something small right now.
10. 1:53Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
11. 2:06You are allowed to be unimpressed by the waiting that feels heavier than the thing. Indifference is a legitimate response.
12. 2:23If the nervous hours before is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
13. 2:40Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
14. 2:54If you feel numb, that's a valid thing to feel. Nothing to fix.
15. 3:07Small efforts are the whole method.
16. 3:17Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
17. 3:28If you're counting the minutes, that's fine. Count them and come back.
18. 3:41We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
19. 3:51Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
20. 4:02Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
21. 4:16Nothing here needs to be efficient.
22. 4:26No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
23. 4:37Notice the exact moment your attention left. You probably won't catch it. That's normal.
24. 4:51You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
25. 5:04I'll leave a gap here. Use it however you like.
26. 5:16Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
27. 5:28Let this be easy, if easy is available.
28. 5:39Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
29. 5:51Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
30. 6:05Let it be this simple.
31. 6:14Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
32. 6:24Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
33. 6:38Let the pause stretch out.
34. 6:47Notice where your body is still holding something. Leave it alone.
35. 6:59Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
36. 7:12Just the breath, still.
37. 7:21Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
38. 7:35Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
39. 7:48Let your body keep settling.
40. 7:57Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
41. 8:09Feel the weight of the dread of an event that has not happened somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
42. 8:28A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
43. 8:39When the waiting that feels heavier than the thing presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
44. 9:00Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
45. 9:14Give the nervous hours before a shape, a colour, a temperature. Turning it into something specific makes it easier to hold.
46. 9:31There is no correct amount of the dread of an event that has not happened to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
47. 9:51Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
48. 10:03Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
49. 10:15If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
50. 10:28Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
51. 10:39There's no need to try harder than this.
52. 10:50Let the quiet do its work.
53. 11:00Before you open your eyes, notice how you feel compared to the start. It might be small.
54. 11:15Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.