Softening for tight shoulders and neck: 7 minutes, before bed

About this practice

A 7-minute softening session for tight shoulders and neck, before bed. No app, no account — press start. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tight shoulders and neck

Shoulders rise towards the ears under sustained stress, and the muscles of the upper back shorten to hold that posture. The result is a stiff neck and a heavy upper back.

It tends to show up as:

• Shoulders up around the ears
• Stiff neck, especially after screens
• Headaches that start at the back of the head

Weight and gravity do the release. Noticing the contact points lets the shoulders stop holding themselves up.

Doing this before bed

• Do it in bed or somewhere you can move straight to bed after
• Lower the light, and do not check anything afterwards
• If you fall asleep before the end, it worked

Falling asleep mid-session is a success, not a failure to complete it.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your next exhale be a sigh, if a sigh is what's waiting there.
2. 0:14With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
3. 0:29Imagine your thoughts as traffic on a road you're standing beside. You don't have to flag any of it down.
4. 0:46Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
5. 0:59Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
6. 1:15Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
7. 1:28Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
8. 1:39Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
9. 1:51Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
10. 2:03If the shoulders up around your ears has been with you all day, it is probably tired too. Let it rest alongside you.
11. 2:21There is no correct amount of the stiff neck from hunching to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
12. 2:39Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
13. 2:51Just the breath, still.
14. 3:00Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
15. 3:13Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
16. 3:24Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
17. 3:36Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
18. 3:50Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
19. 4:04Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
20. 4:17A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
21. 4:28Nothing about the weight carried in the upper back has to be explained or justified in this room.
22. 4:44If the shoulders up around your ears shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
23. 5:05Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
24. 5:18If you're replaying a conversation, let it play. It'll finish on its own.
25. 5:31If nothing much is happening, that's not a problem. Nothing much is often the point.
26. 5:45Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
27. 5:57Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
28. 6:10Come back slowly. There's no prize for finishing fast.
29. 6:21Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
30. 6:36Keep following the air.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.