Softening for tension headaches: 12 minutes, between meetings

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 12 minutes of softening for tension headaches, between meetings. A guided session of about 12 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: tension headaches

Tension headaches follow a band of tightness across the forehead and around the skull, usually the product of long staring, jaw clenching and neck position.

It tends to show up as:

• A band of pressure across the forehead
• Pressure behind the eyes
• Ache worsening through the day

Softening the jaw, eyes and neck interrupts the pattern early. Once a tension headache settles in it is harder to shift.

Doing this between meetings

• Start it in the gap, not after the next one begins
• Write down the open thread from the last meeting first, then let it go
• Two minutes done beats five minutes planned

The back-to-back day is exactly why the gap has to be protected rather than used for one more task.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Check your hands. Are they doing anything? Let them stop.
2. 0:12We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
3. 0:26Now let your attention move from the room into your body, slowly, the way you'd move through a doorway you know well.
4. 0:44We're going to let the body lead and the mind follow for a while.
5. 0:58Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
6. 1:09Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:23Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
8. 1:37Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
9. 1:48Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
10. 2:00Feel the parts of you that have gone quiet.
11. 2:11There is no correct amount of the pressure building behind the eyes to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
12. 2:30If the ache from a long staring day starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
13. 2:48Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
14. 3:01If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
15. 3:15If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
16. 3:30Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
17. 3:41Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
18. 3:55With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
19. 4:10Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
20. 4:22Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
21. 4:33Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
22. 4:46I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
23. 4:59You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
24. 5:11Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
25. 5:25Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
26. 5:36Notice where you feel the breath most clearly. Nose, chest, or belly — pick one and stay there.
27. 5:52A few seconds more.
28. 6:01Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
29. 6:15Follow one full breath from the moment it starts to the moment it ends.
30. 6:29Remain here for a few more breaths.
31. 6:39Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
32. 6:51Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
33. 7:05Let the pause stretch out.
34. 7:14Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
35. 7:26Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
36. 7:40Stay here a little longer.
37. 7:49Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
38. 8:02Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the band around the forehead is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
39. 8:21A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
40. 8:32When the pressure building behind the eyes presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
41. 8:52Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
42. 9:05You do not have to solve the ache from a long staring day in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
43. 9:25the band around the forehead may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
44. 9:43Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
45. 9:56Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
46. 10:09If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
47. 10:24Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
48. 10:36Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
49. 10:50Nothing changes for a moment.
50. 10:59Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
51. 11:14Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
52. 11:26Take the next breath slowly.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.