Social anxiety: 7-minute letting go meditation, on a train

About this practice

For the times on a train when social anxiety takes up more room than you would like — 7 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: social anxiety

The body reads being watched as physical exposure. Blood moves to the face and chest, hands shake slightly, and attention turns inward onto how you appear.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading an event days before it happens
• Hot face or shaky voice when speaking
• Replaying conversations afterwards

Turning attention outward — to sounds, to the room, to what is actually being said — interrupts the self-monitoring that keeps the fear alive.

Doing this on a train

• Pick a window seat if you can and let the view do part of the work
• Set an alarm for your stop
• Keep the bag on your lap rather than unfastening to find it later

The motion can make reading or screens uncomfortable, which is another reason audio works better here.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Nothing needs to be decided in the next few minutes. Park the decisions.
2. 0:13Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
3. 0:28Let your breathing find its own pace. We're only going to watch it.
4. 0:41We'll work through this slowly. If you lose the thread, the thread will wait.
5. 0:55Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
6. 1:08Notice how many breaths you take in a minute. Don't change the number, just check.
7. 1:22Feel your heart somewhere in there, doing its work without instructions.
8. 1:34Feel the outline of yourself, from the top of your head to your heels.
9. 1:48Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
10. 1:59Let the exhale carry a little of the dread of being watched or judged with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
11. 2:19You are allowed to be unimpressed by the heat before you speak. Indifference is a legitimate response.
12. 2:34Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
13. 2:48Stay with it.
14. 2:56Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
15. 3:11If you're distracted by a sound, let the sound be the object for a moment.
16. 3:25A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
17. 3:36Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
18. 3:52Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
19. 4:04Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
20. 4:17Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
21. 4:28Think of the fear of saying the wrong thing as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
22. 4:47You do not have to solve the dread of being watched or judged in these few minutes. Your only job is to keep breathing while it is here.
23. 5:07Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
24. 5:20If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
25. 5:31If you're bored, stay with the boredom for a moment. It's usually thinner than it looks.
26. 5:46I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
27. 5:58Pick one thing you are gripping — a plan, a worry, a grudge — and loosen a single finger.
28. 6:14Let the next breath be the start of the rest of the day.
29. 6:27Notice whether you feel any different. If not, that's also normal.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.