Self-criticism: 7-minute softening meditation, before an interview

About this practice

Slow, spoken guidance for self-criticism. A softening session you can do before an interview. A guided session of about 7 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: self-criticism

Self-criticism is a habit of speech, not an accurate report. The same inner voice repeats whether or not the evidence supports it.

It tends to show up as:

• A running commentary on your mistakes
• Harsh words you would never say aloud to someone else
• Reviewing old failures in detail

The practice is not to argue with the voice, but to speak to yourself in a tone that does not require an argument.

Doing this before an interview

• Do it where you will not be interrupted, even if that is a stairwell
• Have the first sentence of your answer ready afterwards
• Keep it short — there is no time for a long session

Nerves before an interview are normal and not something to eliminate. You need access to what you know, nothing more.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Part of you is still in the last conversation you had. That's fine. It can sit here too.
2. 0:16We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
3. 0:30Notice whether your breathing is high in your chest or low in your belly. Just notice. No fixing.
4. 0:46Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
5. 0:59Feel the air as it passes the back of your throat. It's cooler going in.
6. 1:13Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
7. 1:25Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
8. 1:36Notice the small movement in your belly when you breathe.
9. 1:48Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
10. 2:01There is no correct amount of the criticism you would never aim at a friend to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
11. 2:21Think of the record of your mistakes as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
12. 2:39Now the right shoulder. Let it be a centimetre lower than it was.
13. 2:52A few seconds more.
14. 3:01Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
15. 3:12Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
16. 3:24I'll step back. You stay here.
17. 3:34Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
18. 3:48Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
19. 4:01Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
20. 4:12Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
21. 4:24If the harsh voice inside shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
22. 4:44Feel the weight of the criticism you would never aim at a friend somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
23. 5:03Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
24. 5:18Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
25. 5:30If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
26. 5:44Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
27. 5:55If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
28. 6:10Take your time opening your eyes. Nothing is waiting urgently.
29. 6:22Let the last of the stillness stay with you for a few more seconds.
30. 6:36Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.