Self-compassion meditation for being present (10 min), before you talk

About this practice

When being present shows up before you talk, this 10-minute self-compassion session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: being present

Life happens in the present while attention is busy elsewhere. Nothing is missing except the noticing.

It tends to show up as:

• Days blurring together
• Feeling absent from your own week
• Only registering moments in photographs

Sensory attention is the shortest route back. Sound, contact and breath are always in the present.

Doing this before public speaking

• Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
• Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
• Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your shoulders drop about a centimetre. That is roughly where most of us keep the day.
2. 0:15You are allowed to have a hard time without earning it first.
3. 0:28You can think about other things. When you notice, come back. That's the whole practice.
4. 0:42Let your sense of the room shrink down to just your body and the surface you're on.
5. 0:57Feel the slight stretch at the very bottom of the exhale.
6. 1:09Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
7. 1:22Let your throat soften. There's nothing to swallow right now.
8. 1:34Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
9. 1:47Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
10. 2:01Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
11. 2:11Notice how the texture of this exact moment changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
12. 2:28Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the wandering back to now is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
13. 2:47Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
14. 3:00Whatever you are about to say to yourself, imagine saying it to someone you love. Use those words.
15. 3:16Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
16. 3:28If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
17. 3:42Notice the tone you are using on yourself. If it would wound a friend, it is not the truth.
18. 3:58A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
19. 4:09If you feel restless, that's a feeling, not a failure.
20. 4:21The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
21. 4:36I'll step back. You stay here.
22. 4:46Notice anything you're holding onto from earlier today.
23. 4:57Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
24. 5:08A few seconds more.
25. 5:17Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
26. 5:27Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
27. 5:38Stay with it.
28. 5:46Notice your lower back. Let it curve however it curves.
29. 5:58Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
30. 6:13Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
31. 6:23Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
32. 6:34Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
33. 6:48A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
34. 6:59When the life happening while you worry presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
35. 7:19Imagine softening the edges of the texture of this exact moment. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
36. 7:37Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
37. 7:50Whatever the wandering back to now is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
38. 8:05You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
39. 8:17Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
40. 8:28A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
41. 8:39Say it once, plainly: this is hard, and I am allowed to find it hard.
42. 8:53Keep following the air.
43. 9:02Let your shoulders come back up to their usual place, if they want to.
44. 9:16When you're ready, look around properly.
45. 9:26Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.