Self-compassion for jaw tension: 3 minutes, at night

About this practice

For the times at night when jaw tension takes up more room than you would like — 3 minutes, self-compassion. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: jaw tension

The jaw is a stress-holding site for many people, often without awareness until it aches. Grinding at night and clenching by day are the same response.

It tends to show up as:

• Clenched teeth, especially in the evening
• Aching or clicking jaw joints
• A dull headache at the temples

Repeatedly checking and softening the jaw through a session teaches you to catch the clench during the day.

Doing this at night

• Skip the clock — knowing the time rarely helps at night
• Keep the room dark, and use headphones rather than a speaker
• Expect to be awake for a while without treating that as a problem

Any practice at night works better with the display off. Looking at a screen resets the whole thing.

How self-compassion works

Self-compassion practice changes the tone of the inner voice rather than the content of the thoughts. It uses the same warmth and steadiness you would offer a friend, applied without requiring you to have earned it.

• Use the words you would actually say to someone you love
• Ask what you need, not what you deserve
• A hand on the chest or belly gives warmth and pressure a place to land

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Let your forehead smooth out. Most of us hold a small frown there all day.
2. 0:14The question is not what you deserve. It is what you need, right now, in this moment.
3. 0:29We're going to let the body lead and the mind follow for a while.
4. 0:43Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
5. 0:55Let your breathing be boring. Boring is good here.
6. 1:06Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
7. 1:18the grinding that follows worry may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
8. 1:36Think of the clenched teeth at night as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
9. 1:54Notice the small gap after each exhale. Rest there for half a second.
10. 2:07Imagine softening the edges of the tight jaw that speaks for your stress. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
11. 2:26Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
12. 2:37Put a hand where the feeling is strongest. Warmth and pressure are the oldest kind of reassurance.
13. 2:52Notice the room again: the sounds, the temperature, the light.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.