Meditation for the inner critic: 3-minute breathing session, before you talk

About this practice

When the inner critic shows up before you talk, this 3-minute breathing session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 3 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: the inner critic

The inner critic often formed as a protective strategy, keeping you small to keep you safe. It is loudest where you feel most exposed.

It tends to show up as:

• A judge commenting on everything
• Anticipating criticism before it comes
• Difficulty accepting praise

You can notice the voice without obeying it. Distance between the voice and the response is the whole gain.

Doing this before public speaking

• Do it somewhere private, or in the washroom if needed
• Slow the exhale deliberately and check your speaking pace after
• Warm the voice by reading a line aloud, not by staying silent

Rushing is the tell of nerves. A slower breath now is what sets a slower pace in the room.

How breathing works

A breathing practice uses the breath as the object of attention and as the control lever. Because exhaling slows the heart through the vagus nerve, it acts on the nervous system directly rather than through thinking.

• Keep the exhale longer than the inhale — that is the active ingredient
• Count the exhales and start again whenever you lose count
• Do not force depth; let the breath find its own level

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Find one place in your body that already feels fine. Use that as the starting point.
2. 0:15If the breath feels tight, do not deepen it. Just watch it, and let it find its own depth.
3. 0:31Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:45Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
5. 0:59Feel the pause at the top of the in-breath. It's shorter than you think.
6. 1:13Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
7. 1:25Imagine the judge in your head as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
8. 1:43If the running commentary on your flaws shows up, let it be there without arguing with it. You are not trying to remove it, just to sit beside it.
9. 2:04Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
10. 2:17If the voice that grades everything is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
11. 2:34Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
12. 2:48Follow the air from the nostrils down to the belly, then back out. One full trip at a time.
13. 3:04Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.