Meditation for insomnia: 15-minute softening session, on a rest day

About this practice

For the times on a rest day when insomnia takes up more room than you would like — 15 minutes, softening. A guided session of about 15 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading bedtime
• Hours awake with a busy mind
• Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this on a rest day

• Do it without a reason or a target
• Later in the day, unhurried, in good light
• Let it be longer than usual if you want

Rest that has to be justified is not really rest. This one is allowed to be pointless.

How softening works

Softening is the practice of releasing held tension degree by degree rather than all at once. It targets the physical grip — shoulders, jaw, gut — that persists long after the stressor has passed.

• Soften one place per exhale rather than everything at once
• Let warmth and gravity do the work instead of muscular effort
• If a place will not soften, leave it and go somewhere that will

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00You don't have to empty your mind. Nobody has ever managed that, including the people who wrote the instructions.
2. 0:16If a place will not soften, leave it alone and go somewhere that will. It often follows.
3. 0:31Imagine your thoughts as traffic on a road you're standing beside. You don't have to flag any of it down.
4. 0:48Everything that happens in the next few minutes is allowed to happen.
5. 1:01Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, if that's comfortable.
6. 1:14Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
7. 1:27Notice your shins, which take small knocks all day and never complain.
8. 1:40Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
9. 1:52Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
10. 2:03Feel your ankles. Let them be loose.
11. 2:13Notice your breathing, without changing it.
12. 2:23Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
13. 2:40Imagine the wide-awake mind at 2am as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
14. 2:58Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
15. 3:11Let the exhale carry a little of the counting of hours until morning with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
16. 3:31Notice where the frustration of not sleeping lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
17. 3:49Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
18. 4:01Nothing changes for a moment.
19. 4:10Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
20. 4:24Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
21. 4:36Let the pause stretch out.
22. 4:45Notice the small pause before your body decides to breathe in again.
23. 4:58Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
24. 5:08Stay here a little longer.
25. 5:17Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
26. 5:31Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
27. 5:41Let it be this simple.
28. 5:50Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
29. 6:05Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
30. 6:17A short silence. Let it be empty.
31. 6:27Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
32. 6:39Remain here for a few more breaths.
33. 6:49Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
34. 7:01If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
35. 7:15I'll step back. You stay here.
36. 7:25Feel the skin around your eyes. Let the muscles behind them go loose.
37. 7:38Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
38. 7:50Keep following the air.
39. 7:59Notice the moment you realise you've drifted. That moment is the whole skill.
40. 8:12Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
41. 8:24With every out-breath, soften one place. Shoulders first, then jaw, then the space behind the eyes.
42. 8:39If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
43. 8:54No words for a moment. Only the next breath.
44. 9:05Let the exhale do the work. On each one, allow a little more give.
45. 9:19Notice if you've been frowning at your own thoughts.
46. 9:30Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
47. 9:41Unclenching is not the same as relaxing. Just stop adding the tension back.
48. 9:54You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
49. 10:06Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
50. 10:17Find the tightest place and simply breathe near it. Warmth does the softening, not effort.
51. 10:31Notice any part of you that wants this to be over.
52. 10:43Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
53. 10:56A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
54. 11:07If you catch yourself fighting the wide-awake mind at 2am, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
55. 11:25When the counting of hours until morning presses in, put a hand on your chest or your belly. Warmth and pressure are anchors your body already trusts.
56. 11:45Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
57. 11:58Whatever the frustration of not sleeping is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
58. 12:13Nothing about the wide-awake mind at 2am has to be explained or justified in this room.
59. 12:28Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
60. 12:43Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
61. 12:56Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
62. 13:10Notice whether you're breathing or holding. Start breathing again.
63. 13:21I'll be quiet for a moment. Stay with the breath.
64. 13:33We are not forcing anything open. We are letting things unclench by a single degree.
65. 13:47No need to open your eyes yet.
66. 13:57Notice your feet on the floor. That's where you start from.
67. 14:09Let the pace of the last few minutes set the pace of the next few.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.