Meditation for health anxiety: 10-minute letting go session, after a conflict

About this practice

For the times after a conflict when health anxiety takes up more room than you would like — 10 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: health anxiety

Health anxiety runs on a loop of scanning and checking. Each check briefly relieves the fear and then strengthens it, because the relief teaches the brain that checking was necessary.

It tends to show up as:

Repeatedly checking a symptom or a pulse
Searching symptoms late at night
Reassurance that only helps for an hour

Attention moved out of the head and into the body as a whole reduces scanning. You are not arguing with the worry, just giving it less to grip.

Doing this after an argument

Do it before you re-engage or send anything
Let the physical arousal drop first — it takes minutes, not hours
Write down nothing you intend to send during it

Whatever you would write in the first ten minutes is rarely what you would say after thirty.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

0:00Put a hand on your chest for a moment if that feels steadying. Or don't. Both are allowed.
0:16With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
0:31Let your attention drop to the level of your shoulders and stay there a moment.
0:45Bring your attention to where your body meets the surface underneath you.
0:58Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
1:11Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
1:22Let the whole of your right foot be heavy.
1:33Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
1:44Notice the space between your shoulder blades.
1:54Let your thumbs rest wherever they landed.
2:04Picture the fear attached to each new symptom as a weather front passing over. You are not the weather. You are the sky it moves through.
2:23Notice the space around the worry about what your body might be telling you. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
2:43If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
2:54You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
3:09Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
3:21Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
3:35Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
3:51Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
4:03If you feel emotional, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including yourself.
4:17We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
4:32A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
4:43Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
4:57Let this one be unhurried.
5:06Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
5:18Let the breath move at the speed of a sleeping person.
5:30Stay with it.
5:38Notice the backs of your knees, which you feel more than you think.
5:51Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
6:04Nothing changes for a moment.
6:13Start at the top of your head. Notice the scalp, which you almost never notice.
6:27Let your breathing find the rhythm it uses when you're almost asleep.
6:40Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
6:51There is no correct amount of the habit of checking for something wrong to be feeling right now. Whatever is here is the honest amount.
7:10Feel the weight of the fear attached to each new symptom somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
7:28Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
7:39Notice where the worry about what your body might be telling you lives in your body. Chest, throat, stomach. Rest your attention there without trying to change it.
7:59Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
8:11If your body wants to move, let it move, then come back.
8:24A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
8:35Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
8:50A few seconds more.
8:59Stand up when you're ready. The list hasn't grown while you were here.
9:12Let the last minute of quiet be the last minute of quiet.
9:25Let the pause stretch out.

Questions people ask

What does this session help with?

Health anxiety runs on a loop of scanning and checking. Each check briefly relieves the fear and then strengthens it, because the relief teaches the brain that checking was necessary. Attention moved out of the head and into the body as a whole reduces scanning. You are not arguing with the worry, just giving it less to grip.

Where and when should I do this one?

Do it before you re-engage or send anything. Whatever you would write in the first ten minutes is rarely what you would say after thirty.

What actually happens during the 10 minutes?

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.