Noting meditation for insomnia (10 min), after a conflict

About this practice

Nothing to learn and nothing to fix: 10 minutes of noting for insomnia, after a conflict. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: insomnia

Insomnia is often maintained by the fear of not sleeping. Anticipating a bad night raises arousal at bedtime, which produces the bad night.

It tends to show up as:

• Dreading bedtime
• Hours awake with a busy mind
• Sleeping worse as the week goes on

Removing the pressure to sleep is the active ingredient. This gives you something to do that is not trying.

Doing this after an argument

• Do it before you re-engage or send anything
• Let the physical arousal drop first — it takes minutes, not hours
• Write down nothing you intend to send during it

Whatever you would write in the first ten minutes is rarely what you would say after thirty.

How noting works

Noting is a technique from insight practice: when something arises, you give it a single plain label — thinking, hearing, planning — and return to the anchor. The label creates a small distance between you and the content.

• Use one word, not a sentence — explaining means you have joined in
• Label and return; do not follow the thought to see where it goes
• Drop the labelling if it becomes effortful and just follow the breath

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Loosen your grip on whatever you're holding, or imagine loosening it.
2. 0:12Notice the gap between the label and the next thought. That gap is what we are practising.
3. 0:27This is not a performance. Nobody is listening to how well you're doing it.
4. 0:41Bring your attention to the parts of you that are already still.
5. 0:54Follow three breaths and let the fourth one go unobserved.
6. 1:06Notice the first breath of the day versus this one. They're the same mechanism.
7. 1:20Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
8. 1:31Feel your palms. Warm or cool, either is fine.
9. 1:42Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
10. 1:54Notice your toes, starting with the big one on the left.
11. 2:06Whatever the wide-awake mind at 2am is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
12. 2:21Feel the weight of the counting of hours until morning somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
13. 2:38Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
14. 2:52Use one plain word, not a sentence. The moment you explain, you have joined in.
15. 3:06Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
16. 3:18Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
17. 3:30A label is enough. You do not need to follow the thought to see where it goes.
18. 3:45A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
19. 3:56If a worry shows up, name it quietly and let it sit beside you.
20. 4:10You are the one noticing, not the thing being noticed. Stay on that side of the line.
21. 4:25Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
22. 4:36Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
23. 4:48Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
24. 5:02Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
25. 5:13Let the pause stretch out.
26. 5:22Feel the soles of your feet. All the weight of you goes through them.
27. 5:36Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
28. 5:47A few seconds more.
29. 5:56Notice your heels making contact with the floor or the bed.
30. 6:08Let the in-breath be short and the out-breath unhurried.
31. 6:19Keep following the air.
32. 6:28Notice your breathing, without changing it.
33. 6:38Notice the difference between the breath at the front of your nose and the breath in your chest.
34. 6:54Nothing to follow for a moment except your own breathing.
35. 7:06You are allowed to be unimpressed by the frustration of not sleeping. Indifference is a legitimate response.
36. 7:21Nothing about the wide-awake mind at 2am has to be explained or justified in this room.
37. 7:36Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
38. 7:49the counting of hours until morning may quiet down, or it may not. Either is fine. We are practising staying, not performing calm.
39. 8:07You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
40. 8:19If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
41. 8:32I'll step back. You stay here.
42. 8:42When something arrives, label it quietly — thinking, hearing, planning, worrying — then return to the breath.
43. 8:57Let the quiet do its work.
44. 9:07Take one more breath at your own pace, then let your attention come back to the room.
45. 9:22Take a moment to notice you did this for yourself. That's not nothing.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.