Letting go meditation for public speaking fear (20 min), in the air

About this practice

When public speaking fear shows up in the air, this 20-minute letting go session gives you somewhere to put it down. A guided session of about 20 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: public speaking fear

Speaking to a group triggers the same response as physical threat: shallow breathing, a dry mouth, and a voice that rises and speeds up.

It tends to show up as:

• Voice wobbling on the first sentence
• Speaking too fast to get it over with
• Shallow breathing high in the chest

Lengthening the exhale slows speech and steadies the voice. Physically, this is a breath practice before it is a confidence practice.

Doing this on a plane

• Use headphones, and keep the seatbelt on
• Bring a layer — being cold works against settling
• Skip alcohol; it makes the alertness worse

Cabin noise is constant and will mask the audio more than you expect. Try the headphones before you settle in.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Start by hearing the furthest sound you can find.
2. 0:11You can be as unimpressive as you like for the next few minutes.
3. 0:24Notice the weight of your arms without moving them.
4. 0:35If your mind is loud, that's information, not failure.
5. 0:46Let the breath be slow enough that you can hear it, just barely.
6. 0:59Feel your breath move down your back, all the way to your lower ribs.
7. 1:13Notice your whole body as one shape, sitting or lying here.
8. 1:25Feel your knees. They're just hinges, but they've worked hard.
9. 1:37Notice your wrists. They bend a lot in a day.
10. 1:49Notice your hands again. Check whether they've loosened on their own.
11. 2:01Notice your fingers, one by one, starting with the little finger.
12. 2:13If the wobble in your voice starts telling you a story, let the story finish without you adding to it.
13. 2:30Say to yourself: this is uncomfortable, and I can stay with it for one more breath. Then take that breath.
14. 2:47Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
15. 2:58Imagine softening the edges of the urge to rush off the stage. Not erasing it, just letting the sharp parts go a degree softer.
16. 3:17Let the exhale carry a little of the wobble in your voice with it. Not all of it. Just a little, one breath at a time.
17. 3:36Follow the breath down into your belly and feel it come back up.
18. 3:49If you're irritated, that's allowed. Irritation is just weather.
19. 4:00We'll keep it quiet and unhurried.
20. 4:10Let's pause. Just the breathing for a while.
21. 4:21Notice the pull to make this mean something. It doesn't have to.
22. 4:34Nothing here needs to be efficient.
23. 4:44Let me stop talking. Follow the breath instead.
24. 4:55Notice the difference between a thought and the space around it.
25. 5:07There's no need to try harder than this.
26. 5:18A gap. Don't rush to fill it with thinking.
27. 5:29If you're thinking about the next thing on your list, that list will still be there.
28. 5:44If you only manage half of it, that's half more than nothing.
29. 5:57Quiet now. The next part will wait for you.
30. 6:08Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
31. 6:22Small efforts are the whole method.
32. 6:32A few seconds of nothing now. That's on purpose.
33. 6:43Notice how quickly your mind labels things: good, bad, boring, nice.
34. 6:55Let this be easy, if easy is available.
35. 7:06A few quiet breaths. That's all this is.
36. 7:17Your mind will leave about a hundred times. Come back about a hundred times.
37. 7:31Let your body keep settling.
38. 7:40Let the exhale empty you a little more than usual, but not to the point of strain.
39. 7:55Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
40. 8:09Pause here. Count three breaths if you need an anchor.
41. 8:21Notice how you're sitting. Adjust if you need to. Then settle again.
42. 8:34Remain here for a few more breaths.
43. 8:44Let your shoulders stay still while your ribs move.
44. 8:55Feel your forearms, from the elbow down to the wrist.
45. 9:07I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
46. 9:20Notice if you're waiting for something to happen. Nothing is scheduled.
47. 9:32Notice your breathing, without changing it.
48. 9:42Notice that you don't have to start a breath. It arrives by itself.
49. 9:55Just the breath, still.
50. 10:04Notice the tone of your own inner voice. Is it kind?
51. 10:16A short silence. Let it be empty.
52. 10:26Feel the back of your neck. That's a place that holds a lot.
53. 10:39Breathe as if you had all evening. There's no rush in this part.
54. 10:52Let the pause stretch out.
55. 11:01You might be planning something. Notice the planning, then come back.
56. 11:13Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
57. 11:25Notice your ears, which mostly just receive things.
58. 11:36Count down from ten, one number per exhale.
59. 11:47A few seconds more.
60. 11:56Feel your hips. Wide, heavy, and doing nothing.
61. 12:07Let your ribs widen on the in-breath instead of your shoulders lifting.
62. 12:20Take the next breath slowly.
63. 12:29Feel your face. It's probably softer than it was five minutes ago.
64. 12:42Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
65. 12:53Stay with it.
66. 13:01Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
67. 13:12Let the out-breath be a little longer than the in-breath, without forcing it.
68. 13:25Keep following the air.
69. 13:34Feel your belly. Let it be soft instead of held in.
70. 13:46Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
71. 14:00Let this one be unhurried.
72. 14:09Notice your jaw again. Let your back teeth part slightly.
73. 14:21Notice if your breathing is faster than you expected. Don't correct it. Just note it.
74. 14:35Let the quiet do its work.
75. 14:45Feel your upper arms hanging. They're heavier than you remember.
76. 14:57If you catch yourself fighting the room full of faces, that is worth noticing. The fight usually costs more than the feeling.
77. 15:15Silence for a few breaths. Nothing to do in it.
78. 15:27Notice how the urge to rush off the stage changes shape when you stop resisting it. Usually it gets smaller, not bigger.
79. 15:45Let the breath get soft, the way it goes when someone is reading beside you.
80. 15:59Think of the wobble in your voice as a guest that arrived without knocking. You can let it stand in the hallway.
81. 16:17Remind yourself, slowly: I am safe in this moment, even while the room full of faces is here. Safety and difficulty can share a room.
82. 16:36Feel the air move past your upper lip. It's the coolest spot on the way in.
83. 16:51Whatever the urge to rush off the stage is doing right now, your breathing can keep going underneath it.
84. 17:07Feel the weight of the wobble in your voice somewhere specific, then let the floor take a share of it.
85. 17:24Breathe in for four, out for six, if you'd like something to count.
86. 17:37Notice any tension that arrived while you weren't looking.
87. 17:48If your mind has wandered, that's not a mistake. Noticing is the practice.
88. 18:01If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
89. 18:14Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
90. 18:25We'll take this slowly, and there's no version of this where you get it wrong.
91. 18:39Stay a moment longer than is comfortable.
92. 18:49Stretch whatever feels stiff, then carry on.
93. 18:59Wiggle your fingers and toes, gently, like you're testing that they still work.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.