Letting go meditation for frustration (10 min), after a horrible day

About this practice

For the times after a horrible day when frustration takes up more room than you would like — 10 minutes, letting go. A guided session of about 10 minutes, suited to all levels. Nothing is recorded and no account is needed.

What this works on: frustration

Frustration is blocked progress, repeated. Each small obstruction adds to a background irritation that eventually has nothing to do with the original cause.

It tends to show up as:

• Sighing more than usual
• Everything feeling slightly too slow
• A short fuse over minor things

Releasing some physical tension interrupts the accumulation. Frustration is often held in the jaw and hands more than it is thought about.

Doing this after a bad day

• Do not review the day during it — that is what tomorrow is for
• Something physical first, then this
• Keep it short and end it deliberately

A bad day does not need a verdict. Closing it without a post-mortem is allowed.

How letting go works

Letting go is about loosening grip rather than dropping things. It works on the effort attached to a problem — the holding, rehearsing and bracing — which is separable from the problem itself.

• Pick one thing you are gripping and loosen a single finger
• Release the effort with the exhale, not the issue
• Set down temporarily; you can pick it up again after

What happens, minute by minute

1. 0:00Feel your ribs move. That is all the machinery you need to pay attention to right now.
2. 0:15We are not solving anything in the next few minutes. We are setting it down, temporarily.
3. 0:30Let the last hour go on its own. You can pick it up again afterwards.
4. 0:44Let the rhythm of your breathing set the pace, not the words.
5. 0:57Let your breathing get quieter rather than deeper.
6. 1:08Notice your breathing getting quieter on its own, without you deciding anything.
7. 1:21Let the whole of your left foot be heavy.
8. 1:32Feel the middle of your back, the part that never gets attention.
9. 1:45Notice your pelvis resting on the surface below you.
10. 1:56Notice your elbows. Odd things to have, but there they are.
11. 2:08Each time your mind hands you the repeated small irritations, treat it like a leaf on a stream. Present for a moment, then carried on.
12. 2:27If the jaw tight with frustration is loud right now, make your attention smaller. Just the next breath. Nothing beyond it.
13. 2:44If a song is stuck in your head, let it play in the background.
14. 2:58You have been carrying this competently for a while. A few minutes off will not undo that.
15. 3:13I'll stop for a moment. Take the pause at your own speed.
16. 3:26If your mind is quiet, don't grab at it. Quiet comes and goes too.
17. 3:40With each exhale, let a little of the effort go. Not the problem — just the effort.
18. 3:55Quiet for a moment. No need to fill it.
19. 4:06Notice if your attention is in the future. Bring it back to the room.
20. 4:20Ask yourself what you could stop holding for the next sixty seconds. That one is a good start.
21. 4:36Silence. Let your shoulders drop again if they've crept up.
22. 4:48Let the breath be shallow if shallow is what your body wants.
23. 5:01Keep following the air.
24. 5:10Let your whole body be as heavy as it wants to be.
25. 5:23Count four breaths silently. Then stop counting and just follow.
26. 5:35Take the next breath slowly.
27. 5:44Notice your ribs on both sides. Wide, not squeezed.
28. 5:55Let your belly rise first, then your chest, then the tops of your lungs.
29. 6:09Stay here a little longer.
30. 6:18Now feel both feet at once. That's a lot of contact with the world.
31. 6:32Let the exhale fall out rather than pushing it.
32. 6:43A short silence. Let it be empty.
33. 6:53Imagine the annoyance that will not settle as a room you can walk out of for a minute. The room will still be there.
34. 7:12You have been carrying the repeated small irritations for a while. You can set it down for the length of this session and pick it up after.
35. 7:32Let each breath out be a small letting go of the muscles around your ribs.
36. 7:46Notice the space around the jaw tight with frustration. It is there, even if it is small. Put your attention in that space.
37. 8:04If you're sleepy, sit up a little. Or let the sleepiness be there.
38. 8:17Notice any urge to check something. You can wait two more minutes.
39. 8:30Let's rest here in silence. It's short.
40. 8:40Setting something down is not the same as giving up. You can pick it up again after.
41. 8:55Let it be this simple.
42. 9:04Let your jaw, shoulders and hands be loose as you finish.
43. 9:16Let your breathing be completely ordinary again.
44. 9:26Remain here for a few more breaths.

Questions people ask

Meditation is a practice, not a treatment. If you are dealing with ongoing distress, please also reach out to a professional.